How To Secede In Govt Without Really Trying

Like a teenager who moves out, but still mooches off his parents for food, gas and laundry, Texas Gov. Rick Perry recently obliquely threatened to secede from the union. While addressing a bunch of tea baggers at one of their tax day bitch-ins, Perry told the crowd he didn’t believe they were all “right-wing extremists,” as others had sought to portray them. “But if you are, I’m with you!” he shouted. Afterwards, Perry told reporters that Texas might have to secede from the union:

“Perry told reporters following his speech that Texans might get so frustrated with the government they would want to secede from the union.

“There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that.”

But that was then, and this is now. Like the aforementioned whiny teen, Gov Perry has come back, cap in hand, to beg for federal help with the swine flu outbreak in Texas, and to petulantly demand federal troops to guard the border. 

This isn’t the first time Ricky has treated the federal govt like a chick with low self-esteem to booty call. After Hurricane Ike devastated a chunk of the Lone Star state, their secessionist goober, Perry got all “socialist” then too!

According to a recent Rasmussen poll, 31% of Texans want to secede from the union.

So why the hell don’t they just secede? These supposed “real Americans” claim to really hate us, and by “us”, I mean, Washington D.C., the so-called “liberal elite”, “big government”, “baby-killers”, “Dimmicrats”, et al. So, go! Secede, bitches! And don’t let the door hit you in your wheezy, parasitic, collective asses on the way out. Read more