Let the Swine Flu Conspiracies Begin!

Members of the Bilderberg Group have been amassing stockpiles of the Tamiflu vaccine in preparation for the deliberate release of this new strain of swine flu.

Known Bilderbergers like George Shultz, Lodewijk J.R. de Vink and former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld stand to make hundreds of millions of dollars if the pace of infection sparks a pandemic. Either that, or they want to kill off masses and destabilize the community of nations to finally secure their path to global domination.

Or maybe Obama owns shares in the company with an exclusive patent on the drug that can treat swine flu.  It’s also entirely likely he directly ordered the dispersion of the virus to consolidate his own hold on power by instilling fear in the public. That martial law people have been expecting him to order since inauguration may be the ultimate goal of this Obamanized epidemic policy.  Buy your guns now!!!

However, it could also be a hybrid virus made to order by the WHO and the CDC so that their “boy who cried wolf” scenarios for a worldwide pandemic could be realized.

But you can’t avoid the possibility that illegal Mexican immigrants are doing this on purpose, deciding to wipe out their northern neighbor by carrying a biological weapon across the border.

Most likely, however, Santa Claus is just too fucking sick of having to deliver so many packages on Christmas Eve. Read more

“What Ovens?” Panzer Pope Forgives Holocaust Denier Bishop

Christ’s Vicar on Earth and leader of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Benedict has, in his infinite wisdom, decided to rehabilitate previously-excommunicated, adamant Holocaust denier, and all-around conspiracy nut-burger, Bishop Richard Williamson. Here he is denying there were ovens and that 6 million Jews died! 

It seems Pope Benedict XVI has decided, possibly as a wink to conservative Catholics and especially those anti-Semetic Pius X Society loons, to welcome Williamson back into the ecclesiastical fold during a period in which Rome has backed away from Vatican II reforms, no matter how batshit Williamson is.

And let me tell you, Williamson is plenty batshit! As I always say, scratch a Holocaust denier and find a teeming miasma of crazy beneath. Williamson is no exception.

According to the UK’s Catholic Herald newspaper, he’s also a firm endorser of that old Tsarist canard, the Protocols of the Elders of Zion! Read more

Supreme Court Swats Another ‘Natural Born’ Challenge

“It’s over. The coup is a complete success,” remarks one ignorant conspiracy-minded fool over at the Free Republic upon reading news that the Supreme Court has just rejected yet another legal challenge to Barack Obama’s eligibilty for the Presidency.

Gail Lightfoot, et al V. Bowen, California Secretary of State tried to argue some variation of ‘Obama was not a natural born citizen and is therefore not Constitutionally eligible to be President.’

I would attempt to unpack the legal arguments to walk my readers through the miasma of crazy, but having thoroughly examined some of the previously rejected cases (Berg, Donofrio, Wrotnowski), I’m just over it. They’re all crap–based on spurious ‘evidence,’ often driven by ignorance of US citizenship laws and irrational fear and/or hatred of Obama.

When even Michelle Malkin is saying they’re nuts, you know they’re the fringe of the fringe. Of course in their own addled brains, they’re patriots who’ve been granted superior powers to see right through a propaganda campaign of historic proportions coordinated between the “MSM” and the Obama campaign, all designed to fool the American people about the eligibility of our new President. No idea in what sand they think McCain’s opposition research team had their collective heads stuck in when all this colluding and cover-up was happening.

Render Unto Caesar, Reverend Crazypants

Evangelists can always be relied upon to go down and out with a bang. Indeed, it is a generally accepted rule that the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

Kent Hovind, wacky conspiracy theorist, “Creation Science” evangelist formerly known as “Dr Dino”, and owner of the now-defunct Dinosaur Adventure Land Theme Park, Science Center, and Museum (their slogan: “where dinosaurs and the Bible meet!”), has joined the august ranks of Jimmy Swaggert, Ted Haggard and Jim Bakker in titter-inducing disgrace.

The IRS had been pursuing Kent Hovind for nearly twenty years on his claims that he is employed by God, receives no income, has no expenses and owns no property. Hovind was finally found guilty of all 58 counts, including failure to pay $845,000 in employee-related taxes, and has been sentenced to 10 years in prison, while his wife, Jo Hovind, was later sentenced to 1 year. Read more