Category Archives: Today in Crazy

Healthcare For All, Not A Privileged Few


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Hell’s Thermometer Currently At: “Chilly”

Watch as a Fox News contributor actually slams Lady McBush Sarah Palin. Look out, Liz Trotta, Alaska’s soon-to-be ex Governor is feeling sue-happy!

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Ultimate Friday News Dump: Lady McBush RESIGNS?!

Apologies for our lengthy absence from bitchy blogging, however, Constance and I came to realize that our bank accounts were empty, and our larders even more so, making toil for the sake of worldly gain an imperative. However, I woke up this morning, far from my beloved swamps of D.C to read that none other [...]

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So-Called “Intelligent Design” Sneaking Into Science Classes

As a part of their campaign to undermine science education in the public schools, Christian fundamentalists frequently promote a book titled Of Pandas and People. These “intelligent design” proponents, creationists by another name, consistently try to induce state agencies and local school districts to adopt Pandas as a “supplemental text” for use in biology courses, [...]

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Rep. Broun: No Boobs On Base, Except Me.

The GOP wants America to know that they are not just the party of “no”, they’re also the party of daft and inconsequential legislation! Indeed, a bunch of Republican representatives are seeking to make 2010 the “Year of the Bible”. And it won’t surprise you for a moment to read that the sponsor of this [...]

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Apocalypse Shortly: Swine Flu Reaches D.C.

Bloomberg is breathlessly reporting that a World Bank employee has been diagnosed with swine flu. Said employee had traveled to Mexico on business between April 14 and April 18, but has, apparently, already made a full recovery from this season’s most fashionable potential pandemic. As a precautionary measure, the World Bank has advised his colleagues who [...]

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Israel Wiped Off The Map!

No, this is not one of Hizbollah’s screamy, if baseless, threats, nor one of Mahmoud Ahmadinnerjacket’s wetter dreams, but is, in fact, the result of what happens when some airlines go out of business, and others are wobbling along on very little money:
From the AP:
“Irate Israeli passengers have complained to British BMI airline that the [...]

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Yet Another Twit On Twitter

I’ve been somewhat remiss in my coverage of the further adventures of Lady McBush, but today has brought news of her entry into the online world of Twitter. Ben Smith in the Politico has written that Palin’s first tweet was used (gasp!) to criticize the media by saying:
“AP gravely misquoted my staff, saying I ‘changed [...]

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Swine Flu: Public Service Alarmism

Unlike this week’s semi-official “we’re concerned but you should go about your business” message regarding the swine flu epidemic, the reaction to the 1976 outbreak–you know, the one Rep. Michele “Batshit” Bachmann tried to blame on Jimmy Carter–was more akin to: “GET VACCINATED OR WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!”

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The Georgia Gubernatorial Horse Race, Plus A Mule (Fucker)

Despite Georgia being a heavily right-leaning state, the Democrats have a pair of respectable candidates in the gubernatorial horse race. Attorney General Thurbert Baker, state House Minority Leader DuBose Porter, as well as ex-Gov. Roy Barnes, waiting in the wings for his chance to run again. 
The Republicans have a crowded primary of their own, with [...]

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The Stupid, It’s Catching

During an interview with PajamasTV today, Rep. Michele “Batshit” Bachmann (R-MN) made up some crap about how the last swine flu outbreak occurred under “another Democrat President, Jimmy Carter.” 
BACHMANN: I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under Democrat President Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on [...]

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Let the Swine Flu Conspiracies Begin!

Members of the Bilderberg Group have been amassing stockpiles of the Tamiflu vaccine in preparation for the deliberate release of this new strain of swine flu.
Known Bilderbergers like George Shultz, Lodewijk J.R. de Vink and former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld stand to make hundreds of millions of dollars if the pace of infection [...]

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How To Secede In Govt Without Really Trying

Like a teenager who moves out, but still mooches off his parents for food, gas and laundry, Texas Gov. Rick Perry recently obliquely threatened to secede from the union. While addressing a bunch of tea baggers at one of their tax day bitch-ins, Perry told the crowd he didn’t believe they were all “right-wing extremists,” [...]

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Oynk: Swine Flu Kosherized By Israel’s Health Dept.

Acting Israeli Health Minister Yakov Litzman has renamed the H1N1, or swine flu, outbreak for religious reasons. 
“We will call it Mexican flu. We won’t call it swine flu,” said Mr Litzman, who belongs to the ultra-religious United Torah Judaism party.”
While this may seem like just a bit of hilarious window-dressing for uptight religious people, a [...]

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Phelps Family Circus Expands Repertoire to Protest Jews

The Wesboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS has built their sterling reputation for batshittery by engaging in a continuous nationwide-tour of biblical homophobia, protesting the funerals of soldiers, productions of Rent, schools named after Walt Whitman, and any variety of high profile events that have nothing to do with homosexuality.
As I’ve written before, the Phelps [...]

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The Devil Made Me Do It!

Utah, justly famous for its incredible natural beauty, loopy Mormons, and heavily Republican-voting electorate is in the news again!
According to the Salt Lake Tribune, Don Larsen, a GOP delegate from Springfield, has demanded that his party pass a resolution declaring their opposition to the Democratic party ”Hate America anti-Christian Open Borders cabal”, and condemning their role [...]

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The Rednecks Are Coming! The Rednecks Are Coming!

The so-called “Ohio Militia” are planning a “Million Armed Militia March” on Washington D.C. to coincide with the July 4th holiday. Hmm, thousands of tourists, fireworks, and a bunch of disgruntled morons with guns? That sounds like a winning suggestion! And why does the weirdo who made the video feel the need to disguise his [...]

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When Good Cops Go Bad

The vast majority of police officers in the United States are honorable men and women dedicating–and sometimes risking–their lives to protect and serve the public. Then there are also some dicks in blue–the type for whom their badge serves as passport for an ego trip.
I would consider Sgt. Raul Ramirez of El Paso, TX one [...]

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John Oliver Schools The Tea Baggers In Actual Tyranny

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
M - Th 11p / 10c

Tea Party Tyranny

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic Crisis
Political Humor

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Godwin’s Law On Steroids

I think the term “Nazi” is heavily overused, and today, Holocaust remembrance day, is as good a time as any to bring attention to the disparity. Obama, for example, is neither a Nazi nor Hitler. Not that the GOP and the tea baggers, like this rather well-fed protester, would agree. 
It seems utterly barbaric to cheapen [...]

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Awesome Aussie Jesus Plans His Earth Trip


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And I Can’t Get 100ml Of Shampoo Onto The Fucking Plane?!

Apparently, a 22 year old Marine flying to North Carolina via Boston didn’t realize that some of what happens in Vegas really should stay in Vegas! According to the Boston Globe:
“TSA screeners in Terminal B called State Police at 7:10 a.m. after a screen discovered the following items in his checked baggage: a locked handgun [...]

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Tempest in a Tea Party


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Dick Armey And The Tea Baggers

If I were at all musically inclined, the title of this post would undoubtedly be the name of my garage band, however, it does accurately describe an event going on in Our Nation’s Capital right now!
Unlike the Boston Tea Party of yore, this gathering of tea baggers isn’t a spontaneous, broad-based movement of people fighting [...]

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World to End May 24 in Grand Central Station

Something vaguely interesting may or may not be happening at Grand Central Station in May.  In a cryptically mysterious invitation, thisishowtheworldends.com tells people to come to the New York train station at 1 pm on Sunday May 24, 2009.
But don’t worry!  No reason to retreat to your Armageddon shelter yet, as the world will apparently [...]

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Is This News Or Entertainment?

How can one tell the difference these days? Well, one sign would be when no-one on the cast and crew of a news program move to help a guest who says four times that he’s about to pass out before slumping to the floor. Glenn Beck recently had David Buckner, a professor at Columbia University, as [...]

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Obama = Nazi/Stalin/Socialist/Tyrant/Whatever Glenn Beck’s Crazy Juice Says This Week

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
M - Th 11p / 10c

Baracknophobia - Obey

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic Crisis
Political Humor

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Get A (Second) Life

Like most people, I’ve read about Second Life, and decided that, while it seemed an interesting sociological experiment, I can barely keep my shit together in this life, so starting a whole new one sounded time consuming and dumb. I never personally saw the appeal of growing imaginary pot on the roof of the virtual [...]

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Sex and the Satanist Rituals

I’ve always had strong doubts about the case against Amanda Knox and her Italian boyfriend Raffaelle Sollecito, who are currently on trial in Perugia, Italy for the murder of Knox’s British roommate Meredith Kercher.
But it wasn’t until I watched CBS’s 48 Hours investigation of the case that I realized how truly insane the Italian prosecutor [...]

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Sex, Lies And Digital Video

A camera-phone vid of the public flogging by Islamist douchebags, one of whom was her own brother, of a veiled, under-aged Pakistani girl from the Swat valley has set the international news media and blogosphere abuzz. It has, more importantly, also triggered a wave of protests in Pakistan itself, from citizens decrying the religiously sanctioned [...]

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Old Skool Republican Tells It Like It Is

LIMBAUGH: We’re going to go to Chicago. This is Charles. Charles, thank you for waiting and for calling. Great to have you here. Hello.
CALLER: Thanks, Rush. Rush, listen, I voted Republican, and I didn’t — really didn’t want to see Obama get in office. But, you know, Rush, you’re one reason to blame for this [...]

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CIA Medics Joined In Gitmo Torture Sessions

“When we get people who are more concerned about reading the rights to an Al Qaeda terrorist than they are with protecting the United States against people who are absolutely committed to do anything they can to kill Americans, then I worry…. These are evil people. And we’re not going to win this fight by [...]

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There’s Absolutely NO Way This Could Possibly Go Wrong

Are you a bedridden shut-in obsessed with gunning down a burglar without having to get up and put your slippers on? Well, today’s your lucky day! For the low-low price of $39.95, you too can have a mattress mounted shotgun rack! The Back-Up’s website exhorts you to buy “one for each side of the bed”.
While [...]

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Religious People Say The Stupidest Things!

It’s fair to say I spend a great deal of time mocking fundamentalist Christians and Roman Catholics, mainly because it’s fun and because so much of their dogma is patently retarded. However, I have stated before that the Dogoods are equal opportunity bitches, and now is the time to remind Muslims of that very mission [...]

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How to Fend Off a Dildo Attack

Following the success of Borat, one would think most people in this country would recognize Sacha Baron Cohen as the man behind the costumes of his outrageously offensive trademark characters. But his schtick as a flaming homosexual fashion correspondent from Germany found plenty of unwitting people to entice into embarrassing situations.
Check out the new [...]

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“Oh, They’re NOT Kidding.”

That’s the first thing that came to mind when I read the Republicans had unveiled an alternative economic plan with no numbers in it. I then, disbelieving, watched the presser online during which House Minority Leader John Boehner (R- Ohio) and the GOP leadership ascended the dais, addressed the assembled news organizations and claimed that their [...]

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This Is W.A.R: Meet Alaska’s New Attorney General!

Like most people, I had no idea who Wayne Anthony Ross, commonly known by his initials as W.A.R, was until he was given the Alaska AG nod. According to the article I read, he sounds like quite the firecracker, and luckily for Gov Sarah, he is decidedly pro-life (he defends anti-abortionists for free), pro-gun (as [...]

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Oh, That’s Cold: Alaskan Weather And Politics

I have watched with endless fascination the rise of Sarah Palin, from little-known Governor of Alaska to McCain’s stunning, if gaffe-prone, VP candidate with a penchant for “terrorist” outing. And she is fascinating. Attractive, winsome, folksy and cute, Gov. Palin manages to get away with the bare minimum of actual governance in Alaska, preferring to [...]

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“I’m Not A Plumber, But I Play One On TV”, The Samuel J Wurzelbacher Story

Samuel “Joe” Wurzelbacher, better known as the unlicensed plumber whom the McCain campaign thrust into the media limelight as their interpretation of what a working class American looks like, is back!
He’s still not a plumber, and he’s definitely not going to make many friends in the plumbing arts by shilling for the anti-labor astro-turf group, [...]

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What A GOP-Out: Republican Diversionary Tactics And Lame Excuses

Remember during the presidential campaign when Sarah Palin accused Barack Obama of “palling around with terrorists“? All the while, conveniently forgetting all about her her own Secede Alaska! friends. I say “conveniently”, because one of them was none other than her husband, Todd.
I’m sure a lot of fellow Americans wondered, after Lady McBush essentially called [...]

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