Category Archives: Bitching and Moaning

Healthcare For All, Not A Privileged Few


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So-Called “Intelligent Design” Sneaking Into Science Classes

As a part of their campaign to undermine science education in the public schools, Christian fundamentalists frequently promote a book titled Of Pandas and People. These “intelligent design” proponents, creationists by another name, consistently try to induce state agencies and local school districts to adopt Pandas as a “supplemental text” for use in biology courses, [...]

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Rep. Broun: No Boobs On Base, Except Me.

The GOP wants America to know that they are not just the party of “no”, they’re also the party of daft and inconsequential legislation! Indeed, a bunch of Republican representatives are seeking to make 2010 the “Year of the Bible”. And it won’t surprise you for a moment to read that the sponsor of this [...]

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Israel Wiped Off The Map!

No, this is not one of Hizbollah’s screamy, if baseless, threats, nor one of Mahmoud Ahmadinnerjacket’s wetter dreams, but is, in fact, the result of what happens when some airlines go out of business, and others are wobbling along on very little money:
From the AP:
“Irate Israeli passengers have complained to British BMI airline that the [...]

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Yet Another Twit On Twitter

I’ve been somewhat remiss in my coverage of the further adventures of Lady McBush, but today has brought news of her entry into the online world of Twitter. Ben Smith in the Politico has written that Palin’s first tweet was used (gasp!) to criticize the media by saying:
“AP gravely misquoted my staff, saying I ‘changed [...]

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The Georgia Gubernatorial Horse Race, Plus A Mule (Fucker)

Despite Georgia being a heavily right-leaning state, the Democrats have a pair of respectable candidates in the gubernatorial horse race. Attorney General Thurbert Baker, state House Minority Leader DuBose Porter, as well as ex-Gov. Roy Barnes, waiting in the wings for his chance to run again. 
The Republicans have a crowded primary of their own, with [...]

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The Stupid, It’s Catching

During an interview with PajamasTV today, Rep. Michele “Batshit” Bachmann (R-MN) made up some crap about how the last swine flu outbreak occurred under “another Democrat President, Jimmy Carter.” 
BACHMANN: I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under Democrat President Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on [...]

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How To Secede In Govt Without Really Trying

Like a teenager who moves out, but still mooches off his parents for food, gas and laundry, Texas Gov. Rick Perry recently obliquely threatened to secede from the union. While addressing a bunch of tea baggers at one of their tax day bitch-ins, Perry told the crowd he didn’t believe they were all “right-wing extremists,” [...]

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Oynk: Swine Flu Kosherized By Israel’s Health Dept.

Acting Israeli Health Minister Yakov Litzman has renamed the H1N1, or swine flu, outbreak for religious reasons. 
“We will call it Mexican flu. We won’t call it swine flu,” said Mr Litzman, who belongs to the ultra-religious United Torah Judaism party.”
While this may seem like just a bit of hilarious window-dressing for uptight religious people, a [...]

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The Devil Made Me Do It!

Utah, justly famous for its incredible natural beauty, loopy Mormons, and heavily Republican-voting electorate is in the news again!
According to the Salt Lake Tribune, Don Larsen, a GOP delegate from Springfield, has demanded that his party pass a resolution declaring their opposition to the Democratic party ”Hate America anti-Christian Open Borders cabal”, and condemning their role [...]

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Okay, NYT, What’s Age Got to Do With It?

If the New York Times had a story about how Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) is older than dirt, yet refuses to retire from public service, stating his exact age would be relevant to the article.  Or if there was a piece about disgraced former Sen. Ted Stevens, nearly as old as dirt, being granted concessions [...]

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Feingold On Noonan: “I’ve Never Heard Anything Quite As Disturbing”

My slightly unhealthy obsession with Senator Russ Feingold (D-Wisconsin) is no secret amongst the Dogoods. I find his stance on capital punishment, the automatic pay increases of the House and Senate, among others issues, and his role as the sole dissenter against the so-called Patriot Act, admirable. He seems to exude good, Mid-Western, common sense, [...]

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Bush Torture Apologists: Sometimes, Knowledge Is A Terrible Thing

Not TORTURE! No, that sits just fine with their consciences, but knowing about it is wrong/sad/anti-American. Perhaps a couple of water-boarding sessions might change their minds? Starting with “Catholic” columnist, Peggy Noonan! Whom would Jesus scourge, Peggy?

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John Oliver Schools The Tea Baggers In Actual Tyranny

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Tea Party Tyranny

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And I Can’t Get 100ml Of Shampoo Onto The Fucking Plane?!

Apparently, a 22 year old Marine flying to North Carolina via Boston didn’t realize that some of what happens in Vegas really should stay in Vegas! According to the Boston Globe:
“TSA screeners in Terminal B called State Police at 7:10 a.m. after a screen discovered the following items in his checked baggage: a locked handgun [...]

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Dick Armey And The Tea Baggers

If I were at all musically inclined, the title of this post would undoubtedly be the name of my garage band, however, it does accurately describe an event going on in Our Nation’s Capital right now!
Unlike the Boston Tea Party of yore, this gathering of tea baggers isn’t a spontaneous, broad-based movement of people fighting [...]

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Is This News Or Entertainment?

How can one tell the difference these days? Well, one sign would be when no-one on the cast and crew of a news program move to help a guest who says four times that he’s about to pass out before slumping to the floor. Glenn Beck recently had David Buckner, a professor at Columbia University, as [...]

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Obama = Nazi/Stalin/Socialist/Tyrant/Whatever Glenn Beck’s Crazy Juice Says This Week

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Baracknophobia - Obey

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CIA Medics Joined In Gitmo Torture Sessions

“When we get people who are more concerned about reading the rights to an Al Qaeda terrorist than they are with protecting the United States against people who are absolutely committed to do anything they can to kill Americans, then I worry…. These are evil people. And we’re not going to win this fight by [...]

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There’s Absolutely NO Way This Could Possibly Go Wrong

Are you a bedridden shut-in obsessed with gunning down a burglar without having to get up and put your slippers on? Well, today’s your lucky day! For the low-low price of $39.95, you too can have a mattress mounted shotgun rack! The Back-Up’s website exhorts you to buy “one for each side of the bed”.
While [...]

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Religious People Say The Stupidest Things!

It’s fair to say I spend a great deal of time mocking fundamentalist Christians and Roman Catholics, mainly because it’s fun and because so much of their dogma is patently retarded. However, I have stated before that the Dogoods are equal opportunity bitches, and now is the time to remind Muslims of that very mission [...]

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“Oh, They’re NOT Kidding.”

That’s the first thing that came to mind when I read the Republicans had unveiled an alternative economic plan with no numbers in it. I then, disbelieving, watched the presser online during which House Minority Leader John Boehner (R- Ohio) and the GOP leadership ascended the dais, addressed the assembled news organizations and claimed that their [...]

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NYC Erupts In Frenetic Partying As Rush Limbaugh Announces His Departure

Hot on the heels of a new NY state plan to tax residents who earn over $500,000, talk radio’s most capacious turd-burger, Rush Limbaugh, has announced plans to sell everything and move to Texas, a state with no income tax:
“When I am there working I pay whatever, you know, my rate is based on income [...]

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Oh, That’s Cold: Alaskan Weather And Politics

I have watched with endless fascination the rise of Sarah Palin, from little-known Governor of Alaska to McCain’s stunning, if gaffe-prone, VP candidate with a penchant for “terrorist” outing. And she is fascinating. Attractive, winsome, folksy and cute, Gov. Palin manages to get away with the bare minimum of actual governance in Alaska, preferring to [...]

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“I’m Not A Plumber, But I Play One On TV”, The Samuel J Wurzelbacher Story

Samuel “Joe” Wurzelbacher, better known as the unlicensed plumber whom the McCain campaign thrust into the media limelight as their interpretation of what a working class American looks like, is back!
He’s still not a plumber, and he’s definitely not going to make many friends in the plumbing arts by shilling for the anti-labor astro-turf group, [...]

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What A GOP-Out: Republican Diversionary Tactics And Lame Excuses

Remember during the presidential campaign when Sarah Palin accused Barack Obama of “palling around with terrorists“? All the while, conveniently forgetting all about her her own Secede Alaska! friends. I say “conveniently”, because one of them was none other than her husband, Todd.
I’m sure a lot of fellow Americans wondered, after Lady McBush essentially called [...]

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Pope Ben: Ignorance = Holy Bliss

With all the wisdom bestowed upon him by God and the authority endowed by the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Benedict opened his pearly white teeth to release a stream of utter bullshit today.
While en route to his first visit to Africa, the pontiff took the opportunity to blame the distribution of condoms for aggravating the [...]

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The Unintentional Hilarity of the Israeli Lobby

The Zionist Organization of American has termed Ambassador Chas Freeman’s letter criticizing the role of the Israeli lobby in undermining his appointment to the National Intelligence Council “a barely veiled anti-Semitic swipe.”
This comment comes at the end of a detailed atta boy press release ZOA distributed yesterday detailing extensive lobbying the organization undertook and claiming credit for the [...]

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Masters Of The Universe? Or Masters Of Their Domain?

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After CNBC’s Larry Cramer was unmasked as a shouty know-nothing who urged people to buy Bear Sterns stock right before it tanked, I’m going to go with “masters of their domain“, they’re investment [...]

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Chas Freeman Lambasts Israeli Lobby

Ambassador Chas Freeman is a brilliant man. I occasionally attend a salon he frequents, and have always found his comments insightful, his questions probing.
In recent weeks, I’ve been amazed, though not particularly surprised, at the seemingly calculated destruction of his nomination for chair of the National Intelligence Council–the intelligence community’s brain trust responsible for producing [...]

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Vatican Can Suck on My Dirty Panties

It was only in the past five years that the Roman Catholic Church finally decided women still deserve respect if they choose to work outside the home, so it’s a given the pontiff doesn’t express the most progressive views on the female role in society.
But in its latest affront to feminine dignity, the Vatican has [...]

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Time for Menopause Barbie

Like most of the cute skinny bitches with fab wardrobes I’ve encountered during my life, Barbie never seemed very interesting.
After brushing her hair and changing her clothes, I’d think, “Now what?”.  Then I’d brush her hair and change her clothes again.
I once tried to play make believe–like the girls on the commercials who seemed perpetually [...]

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Please Someone Fix the Flux Capacitor

This week the Don Jones danced along levels last seen in April 1997. To celebrate the epic achievement, I compel you to take a trip down memory google with me, to re-visit an era when 6594.44 on the Dow signified just another meaningless number on the market’s ongoing and seemingly perpetual expansion.
Those were the good [...]

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Mess O’Potamia: Iraq War Is Over


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Steele Kowtows to the GOPfather

Michael Steele, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, is learning who’s really the BIG boss of the Republican Party.
Steele had the error in judgment to speak ill of Rush Limbaugh in an interview on CNN this weekend. Some of Rush’s fans were shocked God didn’t smite Steele dead on the spot, but the comments provoked [...]

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Mad Mel: Beyond The Jew-Hate And Sugar Tits Scandal

Look out, $cientology, there’s new batshit sheriff in town! Looking disturbingly like a satanic Colonel Sanders, Mel Gibson, real-life Jew-loather, serial on-screen Limey killer, and big budget torture porn director, has reappeared from his self-imposed DUI/Sugar Tits exile to hawk the release of his flick, the Passion of the Christ on DVD!
Hollywood, and America as a [...]

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Not What I Want to See as Waiting For a Flight

Is it outrageous to suggest that the aftermath of a plane crash may not be the most suitable televised programming to broadcast in airports?
I’ll admit I’m not a big fan of flying.  Actually, it’s more the taking off and the landing that concern me, but I’ve been informed they’re necessary aspects of the Point A [...]

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Morality Police Deserve Fiscal Whapping

To most religious and political conservatives, the only kind of family planning initiatives government dollars should be used to support are those that lambast citizens with a message of abstinence.
Bristol Palin hasn’t even completed her high school education yet, but even she has the wisdom to acknowledge that kind of thinking is unrealistic. Now the [...]

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Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like We Have Government Bailout Money

A bank that received bank $1.6 billion in US taxpayer money as part of the TARP Capital Purchase Program (CPP) in November, and which laid off 4% of its workforce (450 people) right before Christmas, has come under fire for spending hundreds of thousands–if not millions–of dollars to sponsor a golf tournament in LA last [...]

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Because Women Are Supposed to Be Taking Care of Children

If US News needs to lay off one more person, please make it the idiot who conceived of this poll asking which daycare you’d choose for your children if you could select between ones run by Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton, or Nancy Pelosi.
In tomorrow’s cutting edge online poll: which of these women would [...]

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