Hell’s Thermometer Currently At: “Chilly”

Watch as a Fox News contributor actually slams Lady McBush Sarah Palin. Look out, Liz Trotta, Alaska’s soon-to-be ex Governor is feeling sue-happy!

So-Called “Intelligent Design” Sneaking Into Science Classes

As a part of their campaign to undermine science education in the public schools, Christian fundamentalists frequently promote a book titled Of Pandas and People. These “intelligent design” proponents, creationists by another name, consistently try to induce state agencies and local school districts to adopt Pandas as a “supplemental text” for use in biology courses, and they insist that Pandas must be placed in school libraries and must be catalogued as a science book. In reality, however, Pandas is a religious tract. It is a slick repackaging of various doctrines that originated in “creation-science” — the religious pseudoscience by which fundamentalists pretend to show that the Holy Bible is a literal account of history and that there is no evolutionary connection between humans and other organisms. Read more

Apocalypse Shortly: Swine Flu Reaches D.C.

Bloomberg is breathlessly reporting that a World Bank employee has been diagnosed with swine flu. Said employee had traveled to Mexico on business between April 14 and April 18, but has, apparently, already made a full recovery from this season’s most fashionable potential pandemic. As a precautionary measure, the World Bank has advised his colleagues who came into contact with him when he was in the D.C. office on April 20 to work from home.

I will be sensibly avoiding 18th St Lounge, Current, and other World Bank/IMF hangouts, but that’s probably more because I can’t afford the wince-inducing bar prices, rather than the possibly-infectious clientele. 

Personally, I’m kind of surprised by quite how panicky some news outlets are being about all this. I know they have a lot of blank space to fill in a 24 hour news cycle, however, beyond being unhelpful, this sort of end-times hand-wringing is, well, sissy. It can’t hurt to wash your hands a little more often and follow the CDC’s recommendations, but calm down, everybody, this ain’t Ebola! After all, the World Health Organization’s confirmed deaths by H1N1/swine flu virus stands at 17, after Mexico revised downwards its initial tally. And whatever you do, don’t waste your time with the fear-mongering twits like Lisa Sharkey over at Ariana’s vanity blog, the Huffington Post, whose columns are misleading, dangerous and irresponsible. If you follow her advice, you’ll be rubbing yourself with newt blood at midnight when Taurus bisects the Asparagus constellation. 

A little perspective: there were, in 2008, 39,800 motor vehicle related fatalities. According to the American Cancer Society, approximately 565,650 people died of cancer in 2008. And let’s not forget the 30,694 Americans who died from gun violence.

Personally, I’m more concerned about the plummeting value of my supposedly recession-proof Olde Timey Kissing Booth stocks.

The Georgia Gubernatorial Horse Race, Plus A Mule (Fucker)

Despite Georgia being a heavily right-leaning state, the Democrats have a pair of respectable candidates in the gubernatorial horse race. Attorney General Thurbert Baker, state House Minority Leader DuBose Porter, as well as ex-Gov. Roy Barnes, waiting in the wings for his chance to run again. 

The Republicans have a crowded primary of their own, with Secretary of State Karen Handel, state Insurance Commissioner John Oxendine, state Rep. Austin Scott, and states’ rights activist Ray McBerry, throwing their hats into the ring. Rumors abound over Representative Nathan Deal’s imminent entry into the race. While it’s unlikely the Dems will carry the day, Georgia Democrats were cheered by Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle’s surprise decision to seek re-election, despite recently having surgery due to a degenerative spinal condition.

Yeah, yeah, bo-ring! Let’s face it, the best part of any primary is when the loons come out of the woodwork, and the great state of Georgia is blessed with some real winners. My favorite is, of course, Neal Horsley of the Creator’s Rights Party. Horsley is not your run-of-the-mill Christianist, anti-abortion, secessionist crackpot, indeed, he plumbs all-new depths of nutty! Horsley, an unhinged anti-abortion activist who has admitted to “begging” his knocked-up girlfriends to terminate their pregnancies, used to publish the controversial hate-speech site, the Nuremberg Files. He’s also a former marijuana dealer who spent 2.5 years in federal prison for selling hashish oil by the gallon.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, Horsley is also “the implacable enemy of homosexuals who promises regularly to “arrest faggots,” a man who proposes to use nuclear weapons in a bid for Southern secession, and a Scripture-quoting theocrat who wants to force his version of Bible law on American society.”

Best of all, he’s a self-proclaimed mule fucker who puts his bestiality down to “growing up on a farm in Georgia”. Hilarious audio after the jump… Read more

The Stupid, It’s Catching

During an interview with PajamasTV today, Rep. Michele “Batshit” Bachmann (R-MN) made up some crap about how the last swine flu outbreak occurred under “another Democrat President, Jimmy Carter.” 

BACHMANN: I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under Democrat President Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it is an interesting coincidence.

And it would be “interesting”, you daft cow, if it were even remotely true. The 1976 Fort Dix outbreak occurred under President Gerald Ford. I guess Batshit Bachmann has never heard of the Google, let alone a little thing called “factual accuracy”. Reported cases of swine flu are not uncommon, and have occurred as recently as 2007 in Ohio.

Read more

Welcome To The Obama Big Tent, Sen. Spector!

Holy filibuster-proof majority, Batman! Sen. Arlen Specter R D-PA has decided to switch parties and run as a Dem! I should think the Hosebags, aka the GOP, are collectively shitting their pants in fury ’round about now. Specter elaborates:

“I have decided to run for re-election in 2010 in the Democratic primary [...] I am ready, willing and anxious to take on all comers and have my candidacy for re-election determined in a general election.”

“Since my election in 1980, as part of the Reagan Big Tent, the Republican Party has moved far to the right. Last year, more than 200,000 Republicans in Pennsylvania changed their registration to become Democrats. I now find my political philosophy more in line with Democrats than Republicans.”

Democrats and sane people. In a recent poll, only 21% were willing to identify themselves as Republicans, down from 25% in a survey conducted in late March. Is this part of the Fox News-sponsored Tea Bag Effect? Or are more old skool Republicans realizing all that hot air about Rush Limbaugh being the “de facto leader of the GOP” wasn’t hot air at all. And that unstable, incendiary loons like Glenn Beck, Michael Savage and Michelle Maglalang Malkin really are running the (freak) show now. Read more

Let the Swine Flu Conspiracies Begin!

Members of the Bilderberg Group have been amassing stockpiles of the Tamiflu vaccine in preparation for the deliberate release of this new strain of swine flu.

Known Bilderbergers like George Shultz, Lodewijk J.R. de Vink and former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld stand to make hundreds of millions of dollars if the pace of infection sparks a pandemic. Either that, or they want to kill off masses and destabilize the community of nations to finally secure their path to global domination.

Or maybe Obama owns shares in the company with an exclusive patent on the drug that can treat swine flu.  It’s also entirely likely he directly ordered the dispersion of the virus to consolidate his own hold on power by instilling fear in the public. That martial law people have been expecting him to order since inauguration may be the ultimate goal of this Obamanized epidemic policy.  Buy your guns now!!!

However, it could also be a hybrid virus made to order by the WHO and the CDC so that their “boy who cried wolf” scenarios for a worldwide pandemic could be realized.

But you can’t avoid the possibility that illegal Mexican immigrants are doing this on purpose, deciding to wipe out their northern neighbor by carrying a biological weapon across the border.

Most likely, however, Santa Claus is just too fucking sick of having to deliver so many packages on Christmas Eve. Read more

How To Secede In Govt Without Really Trying

Like a teenager who moves out, but still mooches off his parents for food, gas and laundry, Texas Gov. Rick Perry recently obliquely threatened to secede from the union. While addressing a bunch of tea baggers at one of their tax day bitch-ins, Perry told the crowd he didn’t believe they were all “right-wing extremists,” as others had sought to portray them. “But if you are, I’m with you!” he shouted. Afterwards, Perry told reporters that Texas might have to secede from the union:

“Perry told reporters following his speech that Texans might get so frustrated with the government they would want to secede from the union.

“There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that.”

But that was then, and this is now. Like the aforementioned whiny teen, Gov Perry has come back, cap in hand, to beg for federal help with the swine flu outbreak in Texas, and to petulantly demand federal troops to guard the border. 

This isn’t the first time Ricky has treated the federal govt like a chick with low self-esteem to booty call. After Hurricane Ike devastated a chunk of the Lone Star state, their secessionist goober, Perry got all “socialist” then too!

According to a recent Rasmussen poll, 31% of Texans want to secede from the union.

So why the hell don’t they just secede? These supposed “real Americans” claim to really hate us, and by “us”, I mean, Washington D.C., the so-called “liberal elite”, “big government”, “baby-killers”, “Dimmicrats”, et al. So, go! Secede, bitches! And don’t let the door hit you in your wheezy, parasitic, collective asses on the way out. Read more

Schadenfreude Monday!

I wonder how long it’s going to be before the GOP start demanding federal money to protect Republican politicians? After all, the right wing think the Endangered Species Act is an essential piece of legislation!

Oynk: Swine Flu Kosherized By Israel’s Health Dept.

Acting Israeli Health Minister Yakov Litzman has renamed the H1N1, or swine flu, outbreak for religious reasons. 

“We will call it Mexican flu. We won’t call it swine flu,” said Mr Litzman, who belongs to the ultra-religious United Torah Judaism party.”

While this may seem like just a bit of hilarious window-dressing for uptight religious people, a writer for the Israeli newspaper, Ha’aretz, claims it bespeaks of a wider social and political problem, that of the steadily diminishing separation between synagogue and state. 

I do think Benjamin Hartman has a point:

“The blame ultimately lies at the feet of Benjamin Netanyahu and the glorious parliamentary democracy that makes Israel increasingly unstable and ungovernable. Israel is blessed by a voting system where if you don’t secure a majority, your only recourse is to cobble together a coalition with whichever fellow travelers and fringe parties will agree to sit with you, get the stamp of approval from the president, and then settle accounts with your coalition partners, now waiting in the shadows with a list of demands. While it has been established that Litzman did not want to be named deputy health minister (and with the lack of a superior, the acting head of the ministry), the fact is that under the demented Legoland makeup of Israel’s governing system, ministerial seats are assured to those who broker the deals, no matter how horribly ill-suited they may be to the post.”

And horribly suited he surely is! Litzman’s situation is symptomatic of a growing issue within the Knesset:

“Such is the system that produces a government where a party representing a community whose media cannot print the word “sex”, airbrushes women out of photos, and binds them into a strict second-class status, can be put in charge of the Health Ministry, a ministry legally bound to protect the well-being of all Israelis, regardless of gender, race or religion. It also brings up the issue putting a man who can’t say the word “vagina” in charge of a ministry that supervises gynecological issues. How can a man whose usage of the Hebrew language is governed by his own interpretation of Jewish law deal with issues like teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, or post-natal care for women?”

Hog Wild: Swine Flu In The U.S.

In response to the outbreak of H1N1, or swine ‘flu, which has killed more than 100 people in Mexico, the White House held a briefing on Sunday afternoon with the Secretary of Homeland Security, Acting Director of CDC and National Security adviser to the President, in attendance. The briefing didn’t provide a lot in the way of new information, apart from explaining their response plan, but the govt’s overall tone was reassuring. Which, to my mind, is a good thing because disinformation, or a lack of information, can cause panic, and panic kills. Just take a look at the wild rumors posted on the BBC News site, thanks, in part to the Mexican government’s perceived lack of a coherent strategy.

Speaking of incoherent strategies… After the catastrophic mismanagement of the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, it’s refreshing to see a government agency responding to a potential crisis in a calm, organized and timely manner. You know, rather than the epic waste, fraud and ineptitude so prevalent in the Bush administration’s handling of the crisis. In a recent OP/ED in the Wall Street Journal, Karl Rove lambasted the “spend-happy” Obama administration’s plan to invest “$2 billion for the National Institutes of Health, $462 million for the Centers for Disease Control, and $900 million for pandemic flu preparations.” Praise Horus, those half-wits aren’t in charge anymore!

According to the CDC, there are now officially 20 confirmed cases in the US in five states (California, Texas, Ohio, New York, Kansas). The Department of Homeland Security will be the lead agency, aided by the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS). It’s at times like this I wish we actually had a DHHS cabinet secretary, however, President Obama’s nominee, Kathleen Sebelius, is being held up by the GOP’s anti-abortion ideologues. In fact, the Obama administration is heading into its first public health outbreak without its chief public health official or appointees in any of the department’s 19 key posts. 

DHHS has declared a “public health emergency,” a legal designation that permits certain public health resources like a portion of the 50 million courses of antivirals in the Strategic National Stockpile (SNS) to be prepositioned in the states should the need arise. Read more

Phelps Family Circus Expands Repertoire to Protest Jews

The Wesboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS has built their sterling reputation for batshittery by engaging in a continuous nationwide-tour of biblical homophobia, protesting the funerals of soldiers, productions of Rent, schools named after Walt Whitman, and any variety of high profile events that have nothing to do with homosexuality.

As I’ve written before, the Phelps Family Circus aims to be offensively outrageous in order to provoke a response from local authorities, which then gives Westboro the legal justification to sue for the violation of their 1st Amendment rights.  In that sense, they are essentially self-perpetuating scam artists.

I’m guessing they’re beginning to find that people have grown tired and blasé about their “god hates fags” routine, so tomorrow they plan to protest in front of the Consulate General of Israel in Boston. Because, you know, the Jews killed Jesus Christ and all. Read more

The Devil Made Me Do It!

Utah, justly famous for its incredible natural beauty, loopy Mormons, and heavily Republican-voting electorate is in the news again!

According to the Salt Lake Tribune, Don Larsen, a GOP delegate from Springfield, has demanded that his party pass a resolution declaring their opposition to the Democratic party ”Hate America anti-Christian Open Borders cabal”, and condemning their role as nefarious puppets of none other than SATAN. 

“Don Larsen [...] is warning delegates that an “invisible government” comprised of left-wing foundations was pumping money into the Democratic Party to push for looser immigration laws and anti-family legislation.

“Larsen said Democrats get most of the votes cast by illegal immigrants and people in dysfunctional families.

It’s unclear to me how illegal immigrants, who can’t vote, are propping up the poll numbers of Democrats, but I suppose I’m missing the point, because, according to Larsen, this is all part of a demonic war to enslave and destroy America! Or something like that. And the “dysfunctional” Dems are merely the evil minions of Beelzebub:

“Satan’s ultimate goal is to destroy the family,” Larsen said, “and these people are playing a leading part in it.”

“Larsen’s resolution contained quotes from the New Testament on the battle between good and evil. The copy of the resolution handed to delegates stated it “fulfills scriptural prophecies about our times.”

Read more

Okay, NYT, What’s Age Got to Do With It?

If the New York Times had a story about how Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) is older than dirt, yet refuses to retire from public service, stating his exact age would be relevant to the article.  Or if there was a piece about disgraced former Sen. Ted Stevens, nearly as old as dirt, being granted concessions during criminal proceedings because of his advanced years, his age would also be a key detail.

But I don’t see any editorial justification for stating the ages of Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi and Jane Harman in a passage concerning their less-than-BFF relationship, unless David Herszenhorn intended to imply they are a couple of old bags catfighting like teenage girls. Read more

The T-Rex Of The Sea

I’m looking forward to the Creationist numpties‘ explanation of this recent, and incredibly cool,  fossil discovery in northern Norway by Dr Jorn Hurum and his team of paleontologists. 

“Just 800 miles (1287 km) from the North Pole, paleontologists believe they have found the fossilized remains of a massive sea monster that lived 150 million years ago. Predator X — a new species of a Pliosaur — is said to have been the most dangerous creature to have lived under water. The creature was about 50 feet (15 meters) long, had a head ten feet (3 meters) long and jaws armed with teeth the size of cucumbers.” Reuters

Hillary Disses Cheney, Calls Him An Unreliable Source

Dogood translation: “Suck it, Dick! You, too, Dana”.

I particularly enjoyed watching the young aide’s facial expression behind Rohrbacher, after Madame Secretary blew her big, fat raspberry at Cheney’s “reliability”, and essentially called him a lying sack of crap.

The Rednecks Are Coming! The Rednecks Are Coming!

The so-called “Ohio Militia” are planning a “Million Armed Militia March” on Washington D.C. to coincide with the July 4th holiday. Hmm, thousands of tourists, fireworks, and a bunch of disgruntled morons with guns? That sounds like a winning suggestion! And why does the weirdo who made the video feel the need to disguise his voice? Perhaps because he’s a tinfoil hat-wearing paranoid loon? Who also happens to be armed! 

[Hat tip: the Washington Independent]

Update: It seems the “leader” of the Ohio militia has decided that only invited viewers can view his Youtube threat to rally a million armed nutbags to “march on Washington”. This is not so much a rallying cry as a rallying squeak.

When Good Cops Go Bad

The vast majority of police officers in the United States are honorable men and women dedicating–and sometimes risking–their lives to protect and serve the public. Then there are also some dicks in blue–the type for whom their badge serves as passport for an ego trip.

I would consider Sgt. Raul Ramirez of El Paso, TX one of the latter, after watching this video footage of a little incident yesterday. A 19-year-veteran of the force, Sgt. Ramirez lost his temper with a news crew from KVIA ABC-7, who were interviewing people at the scene of a traffic accident. Ramirez not only arrested the two men without any rational basis for criminal charges, but also got unnecessarily physically aggressive while doing so. The cameraman luckily kept recording the scene, until Sgt. Ramirez knocked the camera out of his hands. Explosive video after the jump: Read more

Feingold On Noonan: “I’ve Never Heard Anything Quite As Disturbing”

My slightly unhealthy obsession with Senator Russ Feingold (D-Wisconsin) is no secret amongst the Dogoods. I find his stance on capital punishment, the automatic pay increases of the House and Senate, among others issues, and his role as the sole dissenter against the so-called Patriot Act, admirable. He seems to exude good, Mid-Western, common sense, a virtue not so common any more. 

Apart from Jon Stewart’s humorous take on the Right’s outraged whitewashing of the torture memos, Feingold has been a lone voice crying out in the wilderness. Governments who torture, are, by their very nature, illegitimate, so it’s no surprise that Bush cheerleader Peggy Noonan wanted to cover her ears and say “lalalalalala”:

“Some things in life need to be mysterious,” Noonan said on Sunday about the release of the torture memos. “Sometimes you need to just keep walking. … It’s hard for me to look at a great nation issuing these documents and sending them out to the world and thinking, oh, much good will come of that.”

Genocide! Torture! Slavery! Rape! Lalalalalalala! Read more

Bush Torture Apologists: Sometimes, Knowledge Is A Terrible Thing

Not TORTURE! No, that sits just fine with their consciences, but knowing about it is wrong/sad/anti-American. Perhaps a couple of water-boarding sessions might change their minds? Starting with “Catholic” columnist, Peggy Noonan! Whom would Jesus scourge, Peggy?

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John Oliver Schools The Tea Baggers In Actual Tyranny

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Godwin’s Law On Steroids

I think the term “Nazi” is heavily overused, and today, Holocaust remembrance day, is as good a time as any to bring attention to the disparity. Obama, for example, is neither a Nazi nor Hitler. Not that the GOP and the tea baggers, like this rather well-fed protester, would agree. 

It seems utterly barbaric to cheapen the senseless and almost unimaginable tragedy that was the Holocaust by comparing the suffering and extermination of the Jews to a bunch of extremely privileged rich fuckers who are whining about paying a whopping 3% more in taxes. Lest we forget, this is what the real Nazis did to Jews during the Holocaust. 6 MILLION of them. 

Awesome Aussie Jesus Plans His Earth Trip

And I Can’t Get 100ml Of Shampoo Onto The Fucking Plane?!

Apparently, a 22 year old Marine flying to North Carolina via Boston didn’t realize that some of what happens in Vegas really should stay in Vegas! According to the Boston Globe:

“TSA screeners in Terminal B called State Police at 7:10 a.m. after a screen discovered the following items in his checked baggage: a locked handgun box containing a semi-automatic handgun, a fully loaded gun magazine, several boxes of 9 mm and 7.62 mm ammunition, three model rocket engines containing an explosive mixture, military pull-type fuses, switches, electronics kit boxes with various components, and a hand grenade fuse assembly with detonator.”

Corporal Justin Reed was arrested at Logan Airport when his bags, which were checked through to Charlotte, N.C., were inadvertently re-screened thanks to inept baggage handlers who sent his mini arsenal luggage to the baggage claim instead of checking it through to his onward connection.

TSA: Transportation Security, Accidentally! 

Not to unfairly accuse Corporal Reed of anything more nefarious than being a 22 year old nitwit, because he did follow some of the regulations, like the locked box, however, he did not, according to TSA, declare the weapon, “several hundred rounds” of ammunition, various rocket engines and the hand grenade detonator, as is necessary. Both detonators and explosive mixtures can be utterly lethal even in tiny doses. The smallest spark in a plane’s hold can wipe out hundreds of people in mid-air, just like the poor fuckers who were killed on TWA Flight 800. It’s why we have baggage contents restrictions and airport security, or rather, we thought we did. I think someone in Las Vegas McCarran Airport is going to have some esplainin’ to do.

W.A.R! What Is He Good For?

According to the Alaska Legislature, absolutely nothing! Sarah Palin’s choice for Attorney General, Wayne Anthony Ross, was rejected on Thursday in a 35-23 vote by a joint session of the House and Senate. I suppose the decision might have had something to do with W.A.R’s describing gay people as “degenerates” in a letter to the Alaska Bar Rag, or telling the Legislature that they should fill the Juneau senator seat without fretting their pretty heads as to whether it was legal or illegal. Or perhaps it was because W.A.R seems to think think white men should have more rights and control over their lives than women or Native Alaskans? 

However, I should in fairness let W.A.R convince you in his own inimitable words! Which include: “If a man can’t rape his wife, who can he rape?”; and the Neanderthal crowd-pleaser: “There wouldn’t be an issue with domestic violence if women would learn to keep their mouths shut”.  Read more

Tempest in a Tea Party

Tea Baggers: Just As Smart As They Sound!

Think Progress has some salient facts for this anti-Obama protester regarding the ongoing felch-fest between corporations and the government, enabled by none other than the highly paid prime mover behind the tea bagger movement, Dick Armey. Let’s start with:

– Armey’s FreedomWorks is actively organizing against health care reform. Indeed, Armey’s lobbying firm represents pharmaceutical companies, such as Bristol-Myers Squibb, that oppose comparative effectiveness research in the health reform plan because such a program may cut into revenue for branded drugs.

– Armey’s lobbying firm represents the trade group for the life insurance industry. Indeed, FreedomWorks mobilizes its members for deregulated life insurance reform.

– Currently, FreedomWorks is focusing their energy activism on supporting the status quo reliance on fossil fuels. In addition to working for various domestic oil companies with a vested interest in opposing change, Armey’s lobbying firm represents Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Prime Minister of the UAE, on energy related issues such as maintaining the U.S.-UAE relationship where “U.S companies have played major roles in the development of UAE energy resources, which represent about 10 percent of global oil reserves.”

– In 2006, Armey’s lobbying firm represented the Senado de Republica (Mexican Senate) on “enhancing U.S.-Mexico relations,” and specifically on immigration policy. Curiously, during the same period, Armey’s Freedom Works stood out as one of the few right wing organizations to boldly support comprehensive immigration reform.

[Hat tip: Washington Independent for the photo]

Dick Armey And The Tea Baggers

If I were at all musically inclined, the title of this post would undoubtedly be the name of my garage band, however, it does accurately describe an event going on in Our Nation’s Capital right now!

Unlike the Boston Tea Party of yore, this gathering of tea baggers isn’t a spontaneous, broad-based movement of people fighting taxation without representation by a foreign power, but in fact, an Astro-turfed protest manipulated and driven by billionaires, like Steve Forbes, and high ranking GOPers. You know, the sort of people who might actually have to pay 3% more in taxes, which is still 10% less than they paid under Reagan.

I’ll bet the vast majority of the (overwhelmingly white) protesters won’t be in the “earning $250K and above” bracket, and therefore will actually benefit from President’s tax proposals, but then, when have the right wing ever let the truth get in the way of a really dumb movement? And if the comments on the Tea Party DC website are anything to go by, these people are not settling the intellectual world ablaze with their brains. Several protesters wanted to vandalize the Reflecting Pool by dumping the approximately 1 million donated tea bags into it. Indeed, the same people who would literally shit their pants if someone so much as sneezed on the Vietnam memorial, are suggesting polluting and defacing the Reflecting Pool, located right in front of both the Lincoln memorial and the World War II memorial. 

“Sidney” wrote:

“Why hasn’t anyone considered making a real tea party out of this event and actually planned on dumping tea into the reflecting pool at the Washington Monument? Forget the implications of trespassing or vandalism. If any one else is as mad as I am they should be willing to take that risk. The symbolism of the act alone would outweigh the consequences.”

And while one of the organizers, Jo Ann Abbot, seemed to comment regularly, I did not see any admonitions to the potential vandals, just a few attempts to get fellow tea baggers to help her clean up afterwards.

Fight For Your Right To Be Prejudiced!

World to End May 24 in Grand Central Station

Something vaguely interesting may or may not be happening at Grand Central Station in May.  In a cryptically mysterious invitation, thisishowtheworldends.com tells people to come to the New York train station at 1 pm on Sunday May 24, 2009.

But don’t worry!  No reason to retreat to your Armageddon shelter yet, as the world will apparently only end for a few weeks.  The website creator, Ian Anderson from the physics department at Carnegie Mellon, advises folks to bring their passport, a chunk of money, a sleeping bag, clothes, and other various supplies for an undefined adventure lasting 2-3 weeks.  Sounds intriguing.

For reassurance, the site pledges you won’t have to kill anyone on the journey.

Is This News Or Entertainment?

How can one tell the difference these days? Well, one sign would be when no-one on the cast and crew of a news program move to help a guest who says four times that he’s about to pass out before slumping to the floor. Glenn Beck recently had David Buckner, a professor at Columbia University, as a guest on his show, and Buckner keeled over on-air, in slow-mo, but rather than rush to help Buckner, Beck’s minions just stood around:

“You know what was funny? Everybody on the set — I finally had to say, ‘Can I get some help here?’ Nobody moved from their place because everybody thought [it was part of the show,]” explained Beck.

True, the cast and crew of the Glenn Beck Krazy Hour didn’t rush to aid the woozy Columbia professor, but they did change the camera angle to get a better shot of David Buckner face down on the studio floor! Is this because they are heartless reptiles with the moral compass of Pol Pot? Maybe! But as Beck himself noted, it’s more likely that they thought this was just another in a long line of stunts, courtesy of Fox News’ Most Bi-Polar Host 2009. After all, Glenn Beck is justly famous for bizarre on-air crying jags, pretending to pour gasoline onto guests, and declaring that under President Obama, “fascism is coming”.

Personally, it’s clear that Beck’s show is neither news nor entertainment, unless the theater of the absurd is your cup of tea.

Obama = Nazi/Stalin/Socialist/Tyrant/Whatever Glenn Beck’s Crazy Juice Says This Week

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Get A (Second) Life

Like most people, I’ve read about Second Life, and decided that, while it seemed an interesting sociological experiment, I can barely keep my shit together in this life, so starting a whole new one sounded time consuming and dumb. I never personally saw the appeal of growing imaginary pot on the roof of the virtual Ron Paul HQ, or creating an avatar that looked like Xena, Warrior Princess with a 9 foot strap-on. It seemed… lame. Then I got home from the baseball game and read this

Sweet fancy Moses, The GOP are having a Tax Day tea-bagging rally in Second Life! Understandable seeing as this version of reality hasn’t been kind to their facile, directionless and self-destructive policies. In fact, according to a Gallup poll released yesterday

“Over two-thirds of Americans — 71% — have a great deal or a fair amount of confidence in President Obama to do or recommend the right thing for the economy, a much higher level of confidence than is given to Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, or the Democratic or Republican leaders in Congress.”

I’m not sure which is more unintentionally hilarious, the tea bagging moniker the movement has acquired from Dems, bloggers, and a vast number of young people, or the fact that it seems none of the “Tea Party movement” schmucks even seem to know what the original Boston Tea Party was about. But then, this new movement isn’t a broad-based reaction to unfair taxation-without-representation by a foreign power, it’s being helmed by a bunch of extremely wealthy right wing loons like Fox News’ Glenn Beck, and enterprising astroturfers like former Koch pollution-enabler Nancy Pfuckenhauer, who are just so damned incensed that their taxes are going up a whopping 3%. The vast majority of demonstrators won’t even be affected by the increase, if anything, they’ll gain from President Obama’s tax cuts. However, I have long ago stopped believing that modern Conservatism is about anything more than puerile grandstanding and saying “no”, as loudly and often as their wheezy lungs will allow.

Sex and the Satanist Rituals

I’ve always had strong doubts about the case against Amanda Knox and her Italian boyfriend Raffaelle Sollecito, who are currently on trial in Perugia, Italy for the murder of Knox’s British roommate Meredith Kercher.

But it wasn’t until I watched CBS’s 48 Hours investigation of the case that I realized how truly insane the Italian prosecutor handling the case seems to be.

Giuliani Mignini is prosecuting the case despite being currently under indictment himself for abuse of power, so a big win in this high profile trial could be critical for his professional survival. Mignini decided within days of Kercher’s murder that the British student had been killed during a drug-fueled extreme sex game masterminded by Knox.

But Mignini doesn’t believe it to have been your normal everyday drug-fueled extreme sex game; the prosecutor’s theory is that the American student, her Italian boyfriend, and the Ivorian immigrant who has already been convicted of the crime were conducting some kind of Satanist ritual that went very wrong. Seriously.

Mignini ascribes to the theories of an Italian blogger, who “sees” with great clarity the evil acts Satan commits on the human plane of existence. This blogger “saw” that Satan had a role in Kercher’s murder, acting through Knox and Sollecito, so the prosecutor has a single-minded pursuit to defeat the evil he believes the two students represent.

After Mignini’s theories of Satanist influence in a previous murder investigation garnered criticism in a book co-authored by an Italian and an American journalist, he had the Italian writer imprisoned for three weeks, and detained the American for intense interrogation. The American, Doug Preston, tells 48 Hours that he is surprised the 20-year-old college student held out for 14 hours of Mignini interrogation before offering a confused and false confession of involvement in the crime. Preston, a grown man with more than 20 years experience as a professional journalist, cracked after only three hours of intense questioning and started agreeing to every hair-brained idea suggested to him. The day after signing his own false confession earned him release from custody, Preston packed up his family and moved back to the United States.

The spectre of sex and violence in the Kercher murder has driven a tabloid frenzy of coverage in the Italian media, which has led to widespread assumption of Knox and Sollecito’s guilt–largely as a result of false reports of supposed “evidence” assumedly leaked by the prosecutor’s office.

Watch the video of the 48 Hours investigation after the jump. If you finish it as shocked and disgusted as I am about the fuckedupedness of the case against Knox and Sollecito, send an email to the public affairs office of the Italian Embassy in DC and tell them.  stampa.washington@esteri.it

Read more

Sex, Lies And Digital Video

A camera-phone vid of the public flogging by Islamist douchebags, one of whom was her own brother, of a veiled, under-aged Pakistani girl from the Swat valley has set the international news media and blogosphere abuzz. It has, more importantly, also triggered a wave of protests in Pakistan itself, from citizens decrying the religiously sanctioned brutalization of a veiled teenage girl.

The UK Guardian received the video from Samar Minallah, a Pashtun documentary maker and anthropologist who lived in Swat for two years in the late 1990s. It has been passed between Swat residents by mobile phones. The girl, identified as 17 year old Chaand, was accused by a lone neighbor of having an illicit relationship with a married man (read: seen in public, period) and was punished without any kind of trial. According to a report in the NYT:

“Chand was singled out for the punishment after she declined a Taliban fighter’s proposal for marriage, the head of the Peshawar Bar Association, Abdul Latif Afridi, said after the hearing.

“After her refusal to marry, an electrician visited the family home, and, according to Mr. Afridi’s account, the scorned Taliban suitor saw her leave the house with the workman. She was flogged on March 7, accused of consorting with the electrician as an unmarried woman, the lawyer said.”

The Pakistani government recently signed a “peace deal” with the Swat-based Taliban, allowing it to declare Shariah law in the region and to exert such influence as it felt appropriate, like the denunciation and cruel beating of Chaand and others like her who dare to appear in public without a male family escort or to go to school. Read more

Full Metal Budget

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The Daily Show team explain how a 4% budget increase is being described by the news media as “drastic cuts” to the Pentagon’s annual drunken spending spree on fancy, yet unusable, toys.

Loony shit-stirrer, Sen. Jim Inhofe had this to say: “President Obama is disarming America. Never before has a president so ravaged the military at a time of war.”

Old Skool Republican Tells It Like It Is

LIMBAUGH: We’re going to go to Chicago. This is Charles. Charles, thank you for waiting and for calling. Great to have you here. Hello.

CALLER: Thanks, Rush. Rush, listen, I voted Republican, and I didn’t — really didn’t want to see Obama get in office. But, you know, Rush, you’re one reason to blame for this election, for the Republicans losing.

First of all, you kept harping about voting for Hillary. The second big issue is the — was the torture issue. I’m a veteran. We’re not supposed to be torturing these people. This is not Nazi Germany, Red China, or North Korea. There’s other ways of interrogating people, and you kept harping about it — “It’s OK,” or “It’s not really torture.” And it was just more than waterboarding. Some of these prisoners were killed under torture.

And it just — it was crazy for you to keep going on and on like Levin and Hannity and Hewitt. It’s like you’re all brainwashed.

And my last comment is, no matter what Obama does, you will still criticize him because I believe you’re brainwashed. You’re just — and I hate to say it — but I think you’re a brainwashed Nazi. Anyone who could believe in torture just has got to be – there’s got to be something wrong with them. Read more

CIA Medics Joined In Gitmo Torture Sessions

“When we get people who are more concerned about reading the rights to an Al Qaeda terrorist than they are with protecting the United States against people who are absolutely committed to do anything they can to kill Americans, then I worry…. These are evil people. And we’re not going to win this fight by turning the other cheek.

“If it hadn’t been for what we did—with respect to the…enhanced interrogation techniques for high-value detainees…—then we would have been attacked again. Those policies we put in place, in my opinion, were absolutely crucial to getting us through the last seven-plus years without a major-casualty attack on the US….”

—Former Vice President Dick Cheney, February 4, 2009

“I’m sure that the false information I was forced to invent in order to make the ill-treatment stop wasted a lot of their time and led to several false red-alerts being placed in the US,”

–Khalid Sheik Mohammed in a statement to the Red Cross. Read more

There’s Absolutely NO Way This Could Possibly Go Wrong

Are you a bedridden shut-in obsessed with gunning down a burglar without having to get up and put your slippers on? Well, today’s your lucky day! For the low-low price of $39.95, you too can have a mattress mounted shotgun rack! The Back-Up’s website exhorts you to buy “one for each side of the bed”.

While the website claims, “this product is not intended for use in homes with children”, the rhetoric they use to sell the product is specifically geared toward the “protection of families” and Back Up’s shills actually use a picture of a family with young children as one of the four main images on their website.

The FAQs are equally mind-boggling. Here’s my favorite: “I travel a lot for business or hunting. Is The Back-Up© portable?”

“Yes The Back-Up© is very light and portable. The unique patented design and construction gives you the ability to collapse it easily for travel, and place it wherever you need it.” Read more

Religious People Say The Stupidest Things!

It’s fair to say I spend a great deal of time mocking fundamentalist Christians and Roman Catholics, mainly because it’s fun and because so much of their dogma is patently retarded. However, I have stated before that the Dogoods are equal opportunity bitches, and now is the time to remind Muslims of that very mission statement.

Bahrain’s Gulf Daily News informs us that their Parliament has voted to outlaw, not spousal rape or domestic slavery, but witchcraft! 

“Witchcraft and sorcery could soon be outlawed, following allegations that suspicious packages containing hair, nails and even blood are being shipped to Bahrain.”

And apparently, it’s upsetting the postmen! Read more