Regular readers of this blog know that the sisters Dogood take full advantage of our Constitutionally-mandated freedom of speech, particularly in refusing to limit our lexicon so as not to offend uptight motherfuckers who object to cursing.
So we take particular pleasure in the ingenuity of one Mike Millard from the Boston Phoenix, who has snipped particularly potty-mouthed audio excerpts from Barack Obama’s Dreams From My Father.
Granted Barack was impersonating a crassly mouthy friend when he says things like, “You ain’t my bitch, nigga! Buy your own damn fries!” But the words are still coming out of the usually more-eloquent mouth of our new president. More downloadable audio clips after the jump.
Millard cleverly uses these excerpts from Dreams From My Father to construct an interaction between the usually dignified and eloquent President and critics of his economic stimulus package.
Kind of makes me wish the Pres of Polite would finally get harsh on the haters. If he did, it might go something like this.
Time to start talking tough.What’s he got to be afraid of? Rush Limbaugh?
Fuck no! Say it loud!
“You know that guy ain’t shit. Sorry-ass motherfucker ain’t got nothing on me.” (click for audio)
So let’s roll up our sleeves and cut to the chase.
Sure, it’s a complicated bill. But all these revisions and amendments and cuts and counterproposals and compromises? Ridiculous. Enough’s enough.
It’s time for the Prez to say it plain:
“This shit’s getting way too complicated for me.”
Spending. Spending, spending, spending then more spending. Simple as that. Let’s stimulate this shit.
There’s opposition, of course. But next time guys like John Boehner or Mitch McConnell try to pull that obstructionist crap, or make the ludicrous claim that all we need to pull this economy out of its nosedive is a slew of new tax cuts, Obama should have no compunction about telling the truth to their faces:
“There are white folks, and then there are ignorant motherfuckers like you.”
Intense negotiations can make for a hefty appetite. So, sure, let’s take a break for lunch.
But if someone like that lunatic Rep. Walter B. Jones — co-perpetrator of what may be the nadir of this great nation’s long history: “Freedom Fries” — tries get too grabby, he’ll soon find out he’s got another thing coming.
“You ain’t my bitch, nigga! Buy your own damn fries!”
Prediction: reconvening for an afternoon bargaining sessions after that postpartisan repast, the Republicans will find themselves chastened by this new, utterly unexpected foul-mouthed assertiveness. The GOP will fall in line.
In fact, some will be so smitten with Obama’s take-no-prisoners stylee, one so atypical of normally weak-willed Dems, that they’ll wanna hang out with him. You just watch: even Jim DeMint will want the secret digits to his BlackBerry.
After thinking for a moment, the president will indulge him.
“Sure you can have my number, baby!”
And then, with the economy saved and the world grateful for it, it’ll be time for Obama the conquering hero to hit the town with his enforcer Michelle, wading his way through the adoring throngs.
“Blam!”
Now, right-click and save those links to make them your phone ring, your incoming email signal, your morning alarm, and slip them into the next dance mix you make.
