Diogenes, Daschle And The Unintentional Hilarity Of Mendacity

By Chairman Dogood | February 2, 2009

The Greek philosopher Diogenes — who eschewed all worldly possessions, lived in a barrel and founded the worthy school of thought known as cynicism — was said to have wandered the streets of Athens in the 4th century BC, searching for an honest man.

Lucky for him he didn’t live in Washington, because he would still be looking.

The revelation that President Obama’s nominee to be Secretary for Health and Human services, former Sen. Tom Daschle (D-S.D.), has filed amended tax returns for three years — having suddenly realized just after Obama’s victory in the primaries was assured that he had failed to declare more than $300,000 in income — is as depressing as it is predictable.

The predictable part: of course rich people cheat on their taxes. Why? Because they can! Poor people probably would, too, except that they cannot afford accountants and the tax system is not designed to give that option to poor schmucks who have just a single source of income, like, you know, having a job.

And Daschle has become spectacularly rich since he left the Senate in 2004, earning more than five million dollars in the last two years alone, according to Politico — much of it in speakers and other fees from the very healthcare industry it will be his job to reform if he manages to win confirmation.

And that’s the depressing part.

As ever, the Chairman seeks solace in the hilarious verbal perambulations of those whose job it is to assure us that this filthy mounding pile of shit does not stink — and in the increasingly beaten-puppy expressions on the faces of those of his acquaintances who for some reason failed to understand that “change” — like everything else in politics — is just a slogan.

In life, as in comedy, timing is everything, and so it is with great interest the Chairman notes when it was that Daschle started to worry that the use of a car and a driver free of charge might actually count as some form of payment.

“Senator Daschle told staff that in June 2008, something made him think that the car service might be taxable and (he) disclosed the arrangement to his accountant,” (emphasis added) says a document prepared by the staff of the Senate Finance Committee and first reported by Jake Tapper of ABC.

Fox News has the full text.

Hmmm … would that that be the same month that Hilary Clinton finally concede, making it certain that Obama would get the Democratic nomination? Yes it would!

According (again) to Politico, Daschle spokeswoman Jenny Backus said that the former Senator “knew he made a mistake and he was fully responsible for it. He fixed it to the nth degree by filing all these amended returns.”

“The Nth degree”? That sounds like pure bullshit to me. The Chairman is no mathematician, but wouldn’t fixing it to the Nth degree involve paying the back taxes an infinite number of times?

Backus added, “He is the one who brought it to their attention” — which is true, of the car service and of another $80,000+ of unreported income. It is not true of the $15,000+ Daschle tried to claim as charitable donations — that was only discovered when the transition team started to go over his returns with a fine toothcomb.

This entry was posted in Barf, J'accuse, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments are closed, but you can leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

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