A Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Stupid

With 2009 still brand spanking new, and the Darwin festivals only just gearing up, the Oklahoma State legislature already has an anti-evolution bill waiting to be voted upon.

The best part? It was written by someone who clearly has only a passing acquaintance with logic! Indeed, it’s confusing, self-contradictory and impressively anti-science. 

“Students may express their beliefs about religion in homework, artwork, and other written and oral assignments free from discrimination based on the religious content of their submissions. Homework and classroom assignments shall be judged by ordinary academic standards of substance and relevance and against other legitimate pedagogical concerns identified by the school district. Students shall not be penalized or rewarded on account of the religious content of their work.“

So when the teacher gives a student an assignment such as, “What is DNA and its role in modern science?” and someone turns in a paper consisting of three lines which include, “DNA is the glue that God used to make us all stick together”, what is to be done?

Without the Brogdon Bill, said student would likely receive a smack around the head and be told that he/she had either gotten a Fail grade or, if they’re really lucky, would be told to redo it.

That wouldn’t please the Creationists, after all, outside of the realm of “Creation Science”, only a small minority of Christian denominations believe that there is a conflict between science and theology. In fact, some of the best writing on science and religion comes from Christian authors, Lutherans and Catholics are especially prolific in this area.

However, the exact intention of the bill is for students to be able to say, “evolution is false, because the Bible says so” and actually get credit for that totally crap answer.

And unless every last science teacher in Oklahoma is a Creationist, eventually some kid is going to get a Fail on their “Jesus loves me and there’s no such thing as dinosaurs” paper and then there will be that most American of events– a law suit! Which will cost the school district in question millions in legal fees just so they can attempt to teach science in science class. We all remember the absurdity that went on in Dover, PA, don’t we?

SECTION 3. It being immediately necessary for the preservation of the public peace, health and safety, an emergency is hereby declared to exist, by reason whereof this act shall take effect and be in full force from and after its passage and approval.

Section 3 of the Brogdon Bill displays unseemly, if hilarious, haste, does it not? For “the preservation of public peace, health and safety”? What drama queens! 

Sounds like vintage Henry Morris, Creation Science’s patron saint.

“If the Bible is the Word of God–and it is–and if Jesus Christ is the infallible and omniscient Creator–and He is–then it must be firmly believed that the world and all things in it were created in six natural days and that the long geological ages of evolutionary history never really took place at all.” — Henry Morris (Morris, Scientific Creationism, 1974, 251)

And in case you think this Oklahoma bill is anything new and different, I refer you to an earlier Creationism vs Science trial: 

“While as scientists creationists must study as objectively as possible the actual data of geology, as Bible-believing Christians, we must also insist that those be correlated within the framework of Biblical revelation.” –Henry Morris (Morris, Creation Research Society Quarterly, December 1974, p. 173, cited in Plaintiff’s Pre- Trial Brief, McLean v Arkansas, 1981)

Clearly, God’s warning in Genesis: “Man shalt not eat from the tree of knowledge” has come to mean “the greatest threat to religion is science” to embittered Creationists. And, interestingly, to extremist Muslims!

However, I’m not sure how the Creationists hope to survive as a long-term movement, denying themselves and their offspring any future in the sciences, such as engineering, medicine, pharmacology or anything else “science-y”. Perhaps this is indeed Darwinism in action, like the FLDS who are working themselves out of existence with their version of religious extremism and resultant inbred fumarase deficiency?

Here, for your reading and mocking pleasure, is the whole Brogdon Bill.

 STATE OF OKLAHOMA

1st Session of the 52nd Legislature (2009)
SENATE BILL 320 By: Brogdon

AS INTRODUCED

An Act relating to schools; creating the Scientific Education and Academic Freedom Act; providing short title; stating Legislative findings; directing State Board of Education, district boards of education, and certain administrators to create certain environment within schools; permitting teachers to help students understand certain information about scientific theories; disallowing State Board of Education, district boards of education, and certain administrators from prohibiting teachers from helping students understand certain information about scientific theories; providing for evaluation of students based on understanding of course materials; prohibiting penalizing of students for holding certain position on scientific theories; prohibiting certain construction; directing State Department of Education to provide certain notification; directing superintendents to disseminate certain information; providing for codification; providing an effective date; and declaring an emergency.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF OKLAHOMA:

SECTION 1. NEW LAW A new section of law to be codified in the Oklahoma Statutes as Section 27-101 of Title 70, unless there is created a duplication in numbering, reads as follows:

A. This act shall be known and may be cited as the “Scientific Education and Academic Freedom Act”.

B. The Oklahoma Legislature finds that an important purpose of science education is to inform students about scientific evidence and to help students develop critical thinking skills they need in order to become intelligent, productive, and scientifically informed citizens. The Legislature further finds that the teaching of some scientific subjects, such as biological evolution, the chemical origins of life, global warming, and human cloning, can cause controversy, and that some teachers may be unsure of the expectations concerning how they should present information on such subjects.

C. The State Board of Education, district boards of education, district superintendents and administrators, and public school principals and administrators shall endeavor to create an environment within public elementary and secondary schools that encourages students to explore scientific questions, learn about scientific evidence, develop critical thinking skills, and respond appropriately and respectfully to differences of opinion about controversial issues. Such educational authorities in this state shall also endeavor to assist teachers to find more effective ways to present the science curriculum where it addresses scientific controversies. Toward this end, teachers shall be permitted to help students understand, analyze, critique, and review in an objective manner the scientific strengths and scientific weaknesses of existing scientific theories pertinent to the course being taught.

D. Neither the State Board of Education, nor any district board of education, district superintendent or administrator, or public school principal or administrator shall prohibit any teacher in a school district in this state from helping students understand, analyze, critique, and review in an objective manner the scientific strengths and scientific weaknesses of existing scientific theories pertinent to the course being taught.

E. Students may be evaluated based upon their understanding of course materials, but no student in any public school or institution shall be penalized in any way because the student may subscribe to a particular position on scientific theories.

F. This act only protects the teaching of scientific information, and this act shall not be construed to promote any religious or non-religious doctrine, promote discrimination for or against a particular set of religious beliefs or non-beliefs, or promote discrimination for or against religion or non-religion. On the contrary, the intent is to create an environment in which both the teacher and students can openly and objectively discuss the facts and observations of science, and the assumptions that underlie their interpretation.

G. By no later than the start of the 2009-2010 school year, the State Department Education shall notify all district superintendents of the provisions of this act. Each superintendent shall then disseminate to all employees within the district a copy of the provisions of this act.

SECTION 2. This act shall become effective July 1, 2009.

SECTION 3. It being immediately necessary for the preservation of the public peace, health and safety, an emergency is hereby declared to exist, by reason whereof this act shall take effect and be in full force from and after its passage and approval.