With all the news of heightened US Secret Service security surrounding President-elect Barack Obama, the large numbers of death threats, and at least two assassination plots foiled, the Dogood sisters are pondering an important question: what’s making the rightwing moonbats cry like babies and reach for their Immodium AD?
So we scanned a few sites and this, a collection of true facts, coupled with what the loons on the right are saying, is what we’ve gleaned:
• He was known as “O’Bomber” at high school for his skill at basketball
• His name means “one who is blessed” in Swahili
• His favourite meal is wife Michelle’s shrimp linguini
• He won a Grammy in 2006 for the audio version of his memoir, Dreams From My Father
• He is left-handed – the sixth post-war president to be left-handed [Sinister! Sinister is originally a Latin term for left or to the left (and by extension, left-handedness), and is used in heraldry to refer to the left of the bearer of the arms, and to the right by the viewer's eyes. It is often used to mean evil.]
• He has read every Harry Potter book [WITCHCRAFT!!!]
• He owns a set of red boxing gloves autographed by Muhammad Ali [Who also hates America!]
• He worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and now can’t stand ice cream
• His favourite snacks are chocolate-peanut protein bars
• He ate dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper while living in Indonesia
• He can speak Spanish [So there's no way he's going to make INS keep the burrito people out!]
• While on the campaign trail he refused to watch CNN and had sports channels on instead [What is more UnAmerican than turning off Anderson Cooper?]
• His favourite drink is black forest berry iced tea
• He promised Michelle he would quit smoking before running for president – he didn’t [LIAR!!!]
• He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia
• He can bench press an impressive 200lbs [So only fat politicos can pin him down on the issues-Denny Hastert, where are you when we need you?]
• He was known as Barry until university when he asked to be addressed by his full name [ELITIST!!!]
• His favourite book is Moby-Dick by Herman Melville [Caught his own White House whale.]
• He visited Wokingham, Berks, in 1996 for the stag party of his half-sister’s fiancé, but left when a stripper arrived [Prude!]
• His desk in his Senate office once belonged to Robert Kennedy
• He and Michelle made $4.2 million (£2.7 million) last year, with much coming from sales of his books
• His favourite films are Casablanca and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
• He carries a tiny Madonna and child statue and a bracelet belonging to a soldier in Iraq for good luck
• He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while at Harvard but was rejected by the all-female committee. [Who's sorry now, bitches?]
• His favourite music includes Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Bach and The Fugees [Bach was a well-known communist, even before Communism was invented!]
• He took Michelle to see the Spike Lee film Do The Right Thing on their first date [Black people, seeing films made by black people. Radicals]
• He enjoys playing Scrabble and poker
• He doesn’t drink coffee and rarely drinks alcohol [Deeply suspicious]
• He would have liked to have been an architect if he were not a politician [Now, he's architect of America's doom!]
• As a teenager he took drugs including marijuana and cocaine [He "inhaled... frequently, that was the point"]
• His daughters’ ambitions are to go to Yale before becoming an actress (Malia, 10) and to sing and dance (Sasha, 7) [Did we mention that his kids are elitists too?]
• He hates the youth trend for trousers which sag beneath the backside [Grandpa Barry: "pull up yo' pants"]
• He repaid his student loan only four years ago after signing his book deal [I hate people who save money, it's so... boring and UnAmerican]
• His house in Chicago has four fire places [And he "says" he loves the environment...]
• Daughter Malia’s godmother is Jesse Jackson’s daughter Santita [and is therefore a Black Panther in training, you heard it here first!]
• He says his worst habit is constantly checking his BlackBerry [Islam says: put the crackberry down]
• He uses an Apple Mac laptop [of course he does, he's an elitist!]
• He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid, having ditched his gas-guzzling Chrysler 300 [Fail: not blingy enough, Barry]
• He wears $1,500 (£952) Hart Schaffner Marx suits {MARXIST!!!]
• He owns four identical pairs of black size 11 shoes [boring!]
• He has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, who charges $21 (£13) [Muslims cut his hair!]
• His favourite fictional television programmes are Mash and The Wire [you know, since he's a war-mongering drug dealer...]
• He was given the code name “Renegade” by his Secret Service handlers [for his uncanny resemblance to Lorenzo Lamas.]
• He was nicknamed “Bear” by his late grandmother [Bears are DANGEROUS! Just ask Stephen Colbert]
• He plans to install a basketball court in the White House grounds [Already inviting Ahmedinnerjacket and Hamas to all-terrorist pick up games!]
• His favourite artist is Pablo Picasso [which means ALL American art from now on will make people look like flounder]
• His speciality as a cook is chilli [We're not fooled, commie! Wait, is it Texas or regular?]
• He has said many of his friends in Indonesia were “street urchins” [Obvsly used to company of thieves, then]
• He keeps on his desk a carving of a wooden hand holding an egg, a Kenyan symbol of the fragility of life.
• His late father was a senior economist for the Kenyan government [No! His "real" father was Malcolm X, just ask Pamela Geller. ]