Supreme Court Contemplating Titties

It has been nearly four years since Janet Jackson’s notorious “wardrobe malfunction” made a Super Bowl halftime show halfway entertaining for the first time in NFL history.

A three-year legal battle culminated in July with the federal court in Philadelphia ruling the FCC acted “arbitrarily and capriciously” in deciding Jackson’s briefly flashed doorknocker of a nipple ring violated federal prohibitions on broadcast indecency. But the malaise of bureaucratic life leaves government lawyers crazy with obsession for titties–and the $550,000 fine they want to strong arm from CBS for the incident.

AFP reports the government has recently appealed to the Supreme Court to reimpose the fine, though it remains for our august Justices to decide whether or not they want to take up the case.

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Everything Obama Touches Turns to Sold

“My economic plan is better than my bowling,” President Elect Barack Obama told fellow bowlers, just after throwing one of many gutter balls during his seven frames at the Pleasant Valley Recreation Center on March 29, 2008.

Now, co-owners Jean Montgomery and Bob DiVentura have decided to place the entire lane up for auction, and donate “a portion” of the proceeds to the Special Olympics. The bidding starts at $50,000.

Not only are they offering lane #21, but also the neighboring lane (#22), the gutters, 2 pin setters, computer scoring system, and the bowling circle complete with the chairs sat on by Obama. “We’ll even throw in the shoes and bowling ball that Obama used”, said DiVentura.

The fully functional lane will be disassembled, shipped, and reassembled at the location of the buyer’s choice. “It is a one-of-a-kind collector’s item in which the buyer can be rest assured no one else in the world can claim a duplicate,” said DiVentura.

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Godwin’s Law Reference Conveniently Baked Right In!

The news from Blighty via the UK Guardian:

“The British National party has vowed to take legal action after its entire membership list was published online in breach of a court injunction.

The party blamed disgruntled former employees for posting details of the names, postal and email addresses and ages of more than 10,000 supporters.”

Indeed, hundreds of outed members are today trying to explain to employers, colleagues, friends and relatives their membership of the British National Party, a 1990s offshoot of the neo-Nazi group, the National Front.

Formed in 1982 by John Tyndall, a co-founder of the extremist National Front, who spent time in jail in the 1960s for inciting racial hatred, the BNP stands fast behind its opposition to mixed-race relationships, wants an end to all non-white migration, and says all non-white migrants and even their British-born descendants should be firmly, and occasionally violently, encouraged to leave Britain.

Merseyside Police officer Steve Bettley and veteran radio host Rod Lucas were among the first to be exposed as secret members of the all-white, anti-immigration party along with several soldiers, 13 school teachers, two junior employees of the royal household, a vicar, and hundreds of other presumably red-faced Britons. Read More »

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A New Day

It’s not exactly as it appears in his landmark, “I Have A Dream” speech, but I like to think Dr King is smiling down on us as we watch Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg making mashed potatoes in the run-up to a post-Bush, pre-Obama Thanksgiving.

Read More »

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Teen Commits Suicide Live on Internet

Nineteen-year-old Abraham Biggs described himself on MySpace as a “good-hearted guy,” writing “I’m the kind of person that is there for my friends regardless of time, I tell all my friends even if it’s 3-4 AM and they need someone to talk that they can always call and I’ll never turn them away.”

Abraham needed someone, anyone, to reach out to him in his darkest moment of despair earlier this week, but instead he faced only taunts and ridicule lobbed safely through the anonymity of Internet chat rooms.

Nearly 200 users watched live on Justin.tv, some reportedly egging him on, as Abraham consumed enough pills to overdose, then collapsed on his bed for an eternal sleep. Published reports indicate Abraham was unconscious but still breathing for hours before one of the people watching finally felt moved to alert local authorities in Broward County, FL. By the time police broke down his door, Abraham was dead. Read More »

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Lady MacBush’s Alaskan To-Do List

Despite being the erstwhile running mate of an actual American war hero, having a young son recently deployed to Iraq, not to mention coming out with priceless crap on the campaign trail such as, “I hope protesters have the courage and honor to give veterans thanks for their right to protest”, Gov Sarah Palin appeared to do exactly nothing to mark Veterans Day, neither as a private citizen, nor as Governor of Alaska.

I guess she was too busy giving interviews to news-felchers like Greta van Susteren and Matt Lauer to actually “honor and thank the troops” for the right to repeatedly shove herself into the spotlight with all the grace and subtlety of a stage mother. Seriously, what kind of ham-fisted political consultant is handling her?

BUT she did find time to do something “presidential” like pardoning a turkey, long before Thanksgiving!

In her interview with the Anchorage Daily News, Sarah Palin came across as cute, folksy, and remarkably coherent. However, raw footage of her interview provided another, more unguarded, view of the popular Governor of Alaska. It includes her views on policy, the upcoming state budget, her many reasons to be thankful, and all the while, there’s a guy stuffing dead turkeys upside down into a blood-spattered draining trough over her shoulder. Pshaw, mainstream media! I think the dead turkey vid makes me like her even more. Full video after the jump! Read More »

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Ann Coulter Now Shilling For Just About Anyone

Times are tough all over, even more so for the bloviating right-wing punditocracy. Ann Coulter, the right’s Valley-girl Valkyrie, has been reduced to shilling for financial scams via the Conservative Book Club.

Shocking, I know. Conservatives read books!

There are few new things under the sun, and this scam is already old hat. In fact, it was floated more than three years ago via a paid message from that fount of good sense, the Heritage Foundation!

Here’s Skousen’s 2005 pitch:

“In the tech sector, bargains have just about disappeared. This stock is one of the few exceptions. I see it moving way higher. In fact, I expect it to double and split 2 for 1. This extraordinary stock should be in your portfolio right now. Everything you need to know is in a Special Report I’ve just written: “The Company that Will Change the World: The Next Explosive Tech Stock.”” Read More »

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Coleman-Franken MN Senate Race Tightens

According to election oracle, Nate Silver at Fivethirtyeight.com:

“Coleman’s lead over Franken is now 136 votes after two days and 46% of the ballots recounted. 30% of votes have been recounted in heavily Democratic Ramsey County, 36% in Democratic St. Louis County, and 42% in Democratic Hennepin County.”

And here, for no reason whatsoever, is Al Franken’s take on where Rush Limbaugh gets his facts.

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Sign My Yearbook?

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Politicunts on Parade

Scanning through the Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute’s new 2009 politicunt pin-up calendar, I can’t help but pity poor Ann Coulter. Even with a professional make-up artist, a photographer proficient in filters, carefully arranged lighting, and airbrushing, she looks no less like Skeletor in drag.  Designers really should have photoshopped away that remaining nub of Adam’s Apple.

This feeble attempt at making the idols of conservatism glamorous achieves an effect more akin to shopping mall Glamour Shots than classic Hollywood.

I don’t actually recognize most of the women they selected for the calendar, but it occurs to me one notably absent from the roster is Laura Ingraham. Perhaps she wisely realized this kind of objectification does not fit with her own career ambitions to earn respect for her mind and not her pretty face.

Pru and I understand that. Part of the reason for our anonymity is so we can earn reader loyalty only through the strength of our writing and the particular skew of our twisted perspectives. We don’t want to develop a fanbase simply because we’re a couple of smokin’ hot chicks. Michelle Malkin blazed that trail, but it’s not one we choose to follow.

Speaking of Michelle, she looks like a painted trollop in her Glamour Shot. Check it out after the jump. Read More »

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Chinese Democracy Has Arrived

For years Prudence has vehemently lobbied for the abolition of my GnR rule for road trips–if I’m driving and Guns and Roses comes on the radio, no one touches the dial. I probably shouldn’t admit to nurturing an inner headbanger, but the circumstances of my Midwestern upbringing forever infused my heart with the driving pulse of a 28-piece drum set.

Now the great white whale of hard rock is poised to drop. After 17 years and more than $13 million dollars, Axl Rose has finally decided to stop tinkering with Chinese Democracy. I have a general policy about sleeping in on the Sabbath, but will be setting my alarm this Sunday so I can be in line for my own copy of the CD when the doors to Best Buy open. I suppose I should go ahead and buy two, since Pru will probably “accidentally” feed one to the shredder after enduring the 20th listen on repeat. Read More »

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Schadenfreude Thursday!

I traditionally like to keep the schadenfreude for Fridays, but this news is just too delicious not to share immediately!

The Colorado Independent informs us that:

“Focus on the Family announced yesterday afternoon that 202 jobs will be cut company-wide — an estimated 20 percent of its workforce. Initial reports bring the total number of remaining employees to around 950.

Focus on the Family is poised to announce major layoffs to its Colorado Springs-based ministry and media empire today. The cutbacks come just weeks after the group pumped more than half a million dollars into the successful effort to pass a gay-marriage ban in California.

So for all of you keeping score at home, “Dr” Dobson and his merry band of Christian fascists have deemed their own FotF employees’ homes and health care secondary to the imperative need to prevent fellow American citizens, i.e. gays, from pursuing life, liberty and that whole happiness thing. I’m sure Dobson’s former employees will have much to give thanks for on Turkey Day, knowing that their ass-holier than thou boss threw them and their families under the bus to punish gays. Read More »

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Think Big, Think Dirty

According the Associated Press

“Iraq plans to build a subway in Baghdad to help cut pollution and ease traffic on the city’s chronically clogged streets.

Baghdad Mayor Sabir al-Issawi said in statement released Monday that Iraq’s Cabinet has earmarked $3 billion for the project.”

Ambitious sentiments in a city where the antique sewer system often spews raw waste, where the power goes out hourly, there is no postal service, and where public transport is, err, less than comprehensive. Read More »

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Super Obama World, The Game!

Not content with waiting til Jan 20th for the Chosen One to fix Washington/Bush Admin abuses/the world? Well, get a little video game practice in the meantime with this worryingly addictive Super Mario style game!

Game play is similar to Super Mario, you score points by making Barry Hussein release American flags, and catching a magic slice of all-American pie gives Barry Hussein a new suit and some spanky shades. Dispatch to the netherworld lobbyists and pork barrel projects (adorably represented by lipsticked pigs) by pogo-ing on their heads repeatedly. Ah, if only…

Play Super Obama World here

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Miracle! Obama’s Face Appears on Waffle

The intersection between presidential politics and breakfast foods drives right through that great American tchotchke marketplace–Ebay.

A family in Jackson. TN reports their nine-year-old son had just finished buttering and syruping his breakfast waffle when they noticed a likeness of Obama materializing out of the goo. It’s a miracle!  The Obamessiah cometh!

It actually looks more like Jesus than Obama to me, but I think the bottom dropped out of the online market for Christ toast after Ebay sellers listed the zillionth Wonderbread wonder of the millenium.

Hurry!  You only have one day and twelve hours left to bid on this piece of breakfast history.  Sellers solemnly request “serious bidders only.”

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More Family Values From The American Family Association

The America Family Association are justly famous for their bigoted, if hilarious, boycotts of American companies such as:

  • McDonalds
  • Hallmark Greetings Cards
  • Ford
  • Disney

The AFA have called for their followers to boycott those multi-national corporations simply because they don’t actively encourage the stoning, shunning, and public shaming of fellow Americans who happen to be gay.

Indeed, those purveyors of high quality, made-in-China, burning crosses for your lawn, have yet another stocking filler crafted lovingly around the tenets of Jesus!

Tenet 1 of course being: Persecute all homos! Read More »

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An Indictment Is Not A Conviction

But it’s a start. And a so much more delicious start because it comes from the great state of Texas.

As the Dogood sisters noted earlier, VP Dick Cheney, former AG Alberto “Gonzo” Gonzales, and state Senator Eddie Lucio Jr., have been charged with “organized criminal activity” over allegations about abuse in private prisons. A Texas grand jury indicted Mr. Cheney and Alberto Gonzales, the former attorney general, on charges that they blocked an investigation into the mistreatment of prisoners.

The indictment has not been seen by a judge, who could yet dismiss it.

While Constance and I are not holding our breath for a conviction any time soon, it is with quiet glee we remember how Al Capone, another great and audacious thug, was brought low by charges of tax evasion and syphilis.

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Pilgrim’s Progress: Colonists Opposed Prop 8

Religious-oriented foes of social and cultural progress (aka evolution) often cling to revanchist notions about what America’s early settlers and revolutionary leaders intended for our nation.

The James Dobson’s of our country paint American history with a single-hued brush, as if the evangelical movement arrived full sprung in the 17th-century, settled a wild frontier absent of any native heritage, and set about establishing a “Christian” nation.

Forget that whole silly notion of freedom of worship, and the very deliberately articulated prohibition against state sanction of religious practice. Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free….as long as they’re Christian.

So it’s no surprise that proponents of Prop 8 ignore the fact that the early immigrants to the New World–the Pilgrims–believed marriage was a civil contract to be handled by the State, not the Church. Read More »

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Kitty Lives!

It’s no secret I’m in awe of Michelle Bachmann. I agree Minnesota “deserves better”, and that El Tinklenberg put up a good fight trying to unseat incumbent loon U.S. Representative Bachmann, however, I can’t help but feel glad that she’s still around to bemuse and confound.

Beautiful, determined and reality-resistant, she reminds me so much of my beloved Kitty Harris, erstwhile Florida Representative and election heister, and of recent starburst Gov. Sarah Palin. They’re all vibrant, attractive, ambitious Republican women who refuse to let a limited grasp of policy get in the way of a perfectly good political career. Michelle, like Sarah, won’t blink. Ever.

Especially not when a news anchor is trying to pin her down on a previous inflammatory, McCarthyist, hissy fit, which called for a Congress-based witch hunt, and was broadcast live to America and the world on MSNBC. Read More »

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You Don’t Know Dick (Cheney)

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Like The Poor, Always With Us.

There’s no getting rid of that Baldwin dude. And by that I mean Stephen, the Jesus-addled Baldwin, not to be confused with Alec, the anger-management Baldwin, or Daniel, the tortured crackhead Baldwin, nor yet Billy, the disturbingly normal black sheep of the Baldwin family.

Stephen has left behind the acting career that spanned projects such as Oscar winning film, “The Usual Suspects”, and the somewhat less lauded, “Biodome”, to become an evangelical youth minister. And he has cannily used the medium of “extreme” sports like skateboarding, BMX and motocross to get his message across:

“I’m here to reach the youth culture of America that’s dying everyday spiritually,” Baldwin says. “They’re overdosing, they’re committing suicide, they’re doing this and that. And the thing that transformed me was coming into the understanding the things of God and the spirit of God. And I want to share that with people — and I want to share it in a fun way.”

In as much as the precursor to the imminent Apocalypse can be fun:

“Jesus is coming back and if you really know what that means, and if you are experiencing and understanding what that’s all about, that’s pretty urgent,” Baldwin says. “Fires are burning all over America. This is biblical stuff.” He points to three major recent tragedies — 9/11, the tsunami in eastern Asia, and Hurricane Katrina — as signs that Jesus is returning.”

As charming and patently good natured as Stephen is, a man is only as good as his word, and unfortunately, it looks like Stephen’s going to welch on his promise of moving to Canada if Obama won the election. Read More »

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FL Racist Apologizes, Blames Fox News for Conduct

Police in Palm Beach, Florida are urging the state attorney’s office to bring charges against the co-owner of a swanky local restaurant, accusing the woman of engaging in voter intimidation by threatening black employees with dismissal if they voted for Barack Obama, and emphasizing her point with references to the KKK and white power.

Patricia Gatti has since apologized for her appalling behavior, calling it “ridiculous and stupid,” but tried to justify the lapse in judgment by explaining, “I think I got crazy with FOX News, watching too much FOX News,” adding that she’d taken great pains to “tear up” all of the KKK notices, but “missed a few.”

Read More »

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Hear Only Surviving Audio of Gettysburg Eyewitness

American governance suffers from a plague of divisiveness–a pernicious virus that invaded its host and progressively crippled reasonable political discourse over successive administrations.

It feels thus appropriate to take a few moments on this day–the 145th anniversary of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address–to remember the national tragedy that can spring forth from such festering wounds of discontent.

Three score and ten years ago, 84-year-old William Rathvon sat down in the studios of WRUL radio in Boston. Read More »

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10 Things I Detest About the Commandments

As a matter of character and temperament, I don’t like being told what to do–particularly when the source of authority comes from a long-dead geezer who may have been tripping on entheogens when he heard an authoritatively booming voice descend from the sky.

I knew of a guy in college who once seized a fire extinguisher to valiantly battle a burning bush outside the dorms. That resulted from mescaline, not divine revelation.

Please do not read this post as advocacy for lying, cheating, stealing, and coveting your neighbor’s wife. It just seems to me that human beings are endowed with critical thinking skills that would be wasted if not employed to guide ethical and moral decision-making. The ‘golden rule’ settles most quandaries, and a Benthamite model can be employed for more complex ethical problems. Read More »

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ACLU, Fire Dept-Approved Burning Cross For Your Lawn!

Have you ever wanted to stick an incandescent symbol of Christ’s earthly sacrifice in your or someone else’s front yard, but were afraid it would send the wrong message?

So have the people at the American Family Association!

Which is why, for the low-low “suggested donation” of $81.85 (in the spirit of Christian charity shipping is included!), the good people at the American Family Association have listed this 5.5ft tall “Christmas Cross”, with 210 ultra-bright lights to radiate the true light of the Lord, in their holiday catalogue.

“Looking for an effective way to express your Christian faith this Christmas season to honor our Lord Jesus? Now you can…. with the “Original Christmas Cross” yard decoration!”

Please note: nails, grail, Pilate and Barabas action figures sold separately.

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Laid Off: A Day in the Life

Lately, every single day brings us news of another friend laid off because of this lousy economy. It makes Prudence and I grateful we have no jobs to lose. Members of the Dogood family network know they will never go hungry, but at the current rate we may have to open a full-service soup kitchen.

In tribute to all of those currently lounging in pajamas on the first forced vacation of their professional lives, let me introduce you to Odd Todd–the best cartoon friend of the unemployed.

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GOP’s Desperate Housewife To Join ABC’s Desperate Housewives?

According to the not-highly reputable entertainment blog, popcrunch:

Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry is reportedly courting the former Republican Vice-Presidential candidate for a cameo appearance on the fifth season finale of the ABC dramedy, airing in May.

Marc is “very hot to trot to have her appear on the season-five finale,” an inside source revealed to the New York Post on Thursday.

“Marc is highly enamored of Sarah and sees her as the ultimate guest star [playing] a similar version of herself. The idea has gone over surprisingly well with execs at Disney, who see it as a blockbuster based on Sarah’s huge ratings on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ “

While some may say Gov. Palin is frantically leveraging the shit out of her remaining 15 mins of fame, I personally can’t think of a better use of her pretty face, girlish figure, and that stylish designer wardrobe!

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Apparently, Jesus Wanted Them To Have Health Care.

According to the Anchorage Daily News, Mat-Su Valley, lately in the news as home to Gov Sarah Palin, has lost its only policeman.

Officer Jason Holmgren is leaving the one-man Houston police force this week to join the nearby Wasilla Police Department.

The ADN elaborates:

“Holmgren said he his decision to leave is tied to benefits. He receives medical insurance from the city of Houston but his family isn’t eligible. After prayer and much consideration, Holmgren said, he and his wife decided in favor of full health coverage and a better retirement package.

“My family comes first,” he said.”

Clearly, Officer Holmgren is a traitor and a Socialist.

Just throwing this out there, but I think Mike Wooten, the eponymous Trooper at the centre of Gov. Sarah Palin’s Troopergate, might need a job. And I’m sure he already knows all about community policing in Wasilla and Mat-Su.

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Truth In Advertising: The Right Wing NutHouse Blog

Sometimes you run across a blog and think, “good title, pity about the content”. Right Wing Nuthouse, written by blogger, Rick Moran, is one such example.

Moran seems to be a competent essayist, he can spell (or has found the spell-check button on his blog program), he seems to have actually read some history, but, unfortunately, like so many wingers, he has a tenuous relationship with reality.

And, it seems, he finds attractive, intelligent women who don’t agree with him rather threatening. Scary, even.

Moran recently wrote a post compiling the “top ten” things that (and I quote) “creep him out” about Barack Obama’s candidacy, and in at number five was “Michelle Obama”, our soon-to-be First Lady. Read More »

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Ted Stevens Loses Re-Election Bid, Opens Hole In Alaskan Space-Time Continuum

Well, it seems they’ve called it for Begich. Which means America’s longest serving U.S. Senator, Ted Stevens, is out of a job. Barring a recount, of course!

He turned 85 yesterday.

Michael Blood of the AP says it best:

“The crotchety octogenarian built like a birch sapling likes to encourage comparisons with the Incredible Hulk, but he occupies an outsized place in Alaska history. His involvement in politics dates to the days before Alaska statehood, and he is esteemed for his ability to secure billions of dollars in federal aid for transportation and military projects. The Anchorage airport bears his name; in Alaska, it’s simply “Uncle Ted.”"

Tuesday’s tally of just over 24,000 absentee and other ballots gave Begich 146,286, or 47.56 percent, to 143,912, or 46.76 percent, for Stevens.

Blood goes on to detail:

“It is a testament to Stevens’ popularity _ he was once named “Alaskan of the Century” _ that he won nearly half the votes, even after his conviction. He routinely brought home the highest number of government dollars per capita in the nation _ more than $9 billion in 2006 alone, according to one estimate.”

Stevens’ historic departure finally hands to Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) the long awaited honorific “Senate’s Crustiest Codger”.

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Tips For Surviving The Recession

The Turtle Man of Kentucky shows us how to catch some old fashioned American bush tucker. How he hasn’t lost all his fingers and toes by now is beyond me.

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Reasons To Be Cheerful–Dick, Gonzo INDICTED

Vice President Cheney, Former AG Alberto Gonzales, and Texas State Senator Indicted

A grand jury in Willacy County, Texas has earned the distinction of filing the first of what the Dogoods hope will be many indictments against Vice President Dick Cheney and former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. The charges stem from circumstances surrounding alleged abuse of prisoners held in the south Texas county’s federal detention centers. Read More »

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Happy Birthday, Uncle Ted

That’s right, kids! It’s Uncle Ted Stevens’ 85th birthday. Don’t forget to send him a lump of bridge concrete or some whale blubber. He’ll be needing it!

At just before 1:00 p.m, Alaska time, the Alaska Division of Elections posted new information on the Stevens-Begich vote count.

Number counted so far today - 14,242
Votes for Mark Begich - 146,286
Votes for Ted Stevens - 143,912
Begich lead - 2,374 votes.

His lead before today, from last week’s count, was just over 1,000 votes. On election night, Begich was down almost 4,000. The trend in the late count votes has been inexorably in Begich’s favor.

The Ted Stevens office on Fireweed Street in Anchorage has been shut down, the signs gone. The Begich office, and the Anchorage Democrats’ offices are both humming with activity.

Most of the remaining late votes to be counted today are from Southeast Alaska, where Begich has been doing surprisingly well, so far.

Ethan Berkowitz has fallen a bit further behind Don Young, in the US House AK-AL seat count.

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Focus on the Family: Abuse Children This Christmas

I get so tired of reminding Christians of Jesus H.’s well-known objections to materialism. Despite his pacifist tendencies, he even fashioned a whip out of spare cording to drive merchants from the temple with force, screaming at the dove sellers as they fled, “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” (John 2:16).

I probably shouldn’t put words into the allegedly resurrected mouth of a long-dead prophet, but will postulate that Jesus character described in the Holy Bible likely wouldn’t have advised: “Commemorate the anniversary of my holy birth by overextending your credit to purchase for your ungrateful children a wealth of material goods produced by the tiny hands of Third World children.”

Viewing the spectacle Christmas has become, Jesus more likely would have constructed a shiv out of a spare Coke can and brandished it at the nearby shopping mall, shouting “Stop thou f*cking idiots! Do not turn my birthday into a celebration of consumerism!”

Regardless, Focus on the Family again demonstrates the distance its flock diverges from the true teachings of Christ with the release of their annual “Christmas-Friendly Shopping Guide.” Read More »

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Hillary Clinton to Accept State Position

With media hysteria swirling in speculation of Hillary Clinton’s possible appointment as Barack Obama’s Secretary of State, the poor women will have to go into hiding if for some unlikely reason the process falls apart before being publicly announced.

As usual, the only possible hitch to Hillary’s career advancement involves hubby Bubba.  If he f*cks this up for her, I hope she finally divorces his philandering ass.

So how close is this to happening? My sources say that during the Chicago meeting, Obama’s team inquired hypothetically–if invited, would she accept. She asked for time to consider, but this week responded that she would indeed accept a cabinet position if it was offered. Read More »

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Clusterf*ck to the Poor House–G20 Summit

The G20 Summit is not some evil world domination conspiracy, despite members toasting over $500 bottles of wine at a long banquet table.

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